The Summer Of My New Intent
By Bob Tracey
I remember a time not long ago when I experienced a pain so piercing and overwhelming that it seemed I ceased to exist, and I became that pain, and it was all that there was.
In the depth of my agony I reached out to my earthly source. I called my mother. Sobbing and incomprehensible, I released to her over the telephone, and this tender, kind human being, who would gladly lay down her life for me, ministered to me with all she had...
"Bobby, you have to stop crying. Please stop crying. I can't talk to you when you're like this. Don't do this to yourself. Calm down. You have to calm down. If you don't stop crying, I'm going to hang up."
With the best of intentions, my mother sought to silence my pain. But it could not be silenced. I hung up. As I sat there all salty and sad, I thought about my sweet, little boy self, and now my tears were for him, as I saw clearly how he had lost his voice and lost his self and lost his way.
So it was in my middle years I learned the manly embrace of my pain. I found the source of healing for my forgotten and fractured self.
It could be argued that children are the only real victims, and it is all too easy for us to hang on to this false reality as adults. Powerlessness can indeed become our reality unless we heed the call to our own freedom, and the path to that freedom we all hunger for runs straight through responsibility for self.
Has your life wandered far from your childhood dreams? Have you become accustomed to the illusion of your own lack? Did your caregivers fail to the deliver the goods? Did no one present the gift of your own unique preciousness to you? Then let me remind you. You are a vital and indispensable part of all that is. There is simply no one as irreplaceably, imperfectly perfect, as you.
When we are very little we absorb our world like giant sponges. We live with joy and openness through clear innocent eyes, until we are taught not to, and slowly our natural state becomes one of loss and lack. We are split from our pure and precious selves.
But now is the summer of our new intent! We are no longer helpless young children. We are adults, and we seek our worthy selves as we claim the mantle of our own responsibility. Now we know that we are always at cause, and we can never, ever, be a victim of life again. We reach with joy for our powerful lost selves. We address the union of our inner state, and we do it just like this:
- Early in the morning when you are just waking up, and your world and mind are still quiet, roll over on your back and spread your arms wide from your sides. Relax and stretch your arms and envision them growing longer and longer. Ten, twenty feet or more, they extend far from your body.
- Now let your mind drift backward to an earlier time in your life. It's the last day of school before summer vacation. You didn't have to bring your lunch because it was only a half day. Remember how you couldn't wait? Just moments away is endless summer, stretching away into the limitless eternity of joyous possibilities.
- You can almost smell your freedom, and you really can't wait. You are so full of your own juice you could almost burst, and then the bell rings and you do burst, outward and upward into the sunshine of your world. Can you feel the smile upon your face? From this place of promise and expectation, bring in now thoughts of the pure preciousness of your young self, and invite the universe to join you in this celebration. Remember the uncountable riches you possessed when you had nothing but the clothes on your back.
- Call forth love, abundance, and right livelihood. Feel the strength and energy of your beautiful body. Be deeply grateful for all your lessons and all your teachers.
- Become welcome to all you desire. Be that which you would choose.
- Now embrace yourself with your endless arms. Enfold the awesome, limitless supply that is life to your precious self. Gather it in, all of it, and don't ever worry, because there is more than enough for all.
- Then let it all go, and release your self to the adventure of this day. Know without a doubt that from this exuberant place of invitation and welcome, that you have commanded the universe, and thy will be done!
Love whatever shows up with all your heart. It is your personal creation, as all of our lives are always our creations.
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