Are you able to be aware of when you need to change or adjust something about yourself? Or is it easier or more comfortable to think others and life are the ones that need to change?
One of the ways I know I need to change is when I find myself thinking thoughts in a certain way for an extended time, or I think pretty much the same types of thoughts over and over, but none of this thought activity moves me forward or causes me to feel the way I desire to. This is especially true when it involves another person's behaviors that I feel a challenge, contrast, or conflict with, and wish they'd change so I could feel better. What about you? What do you do that leads you to see the most obvious and first change to make is in you?
One of the first things we could, should, or would change is our thoughts; and fortunately for us, since we're the only ones who have them, we can address them. That random thoughts will happen spontaneously is a given. Trying to control or stop this fact is a waste of time. But you can transmute thoughts, that is redirect them, once they happen, which takes practice. However, it's important that you distinguish between thought contemplation based in a genuine desire to solve, resolve, or improve and negatively dwelling on or harping on a matter, the latter being a thought activity that will never get you to where you want to be: peaceful, no matter what.
You're going to interact with, or live with, people whose behaviors could be improved; and others will feel the same about you. When someone's behavior triggers you out of your serenity and joy, your quickest way back to those feelings is to change something in or about you, starting with your attitude, mindset, or perspective, and followed by constructive or productive words and/or actions, or even appropriate silence and inaction at times.
You could say a good goal is to stay in peace and in trust in the Universe (though, this is more than a mere goal, it's a desirable way to be); but the words "stay in" puts you on the spot: Who can stay in that mindset all the time? However, as I said a moment ago about thoughts, you can transmute and redirect negative energies that surface in you, which will take practice. And this is a worthy practice because your peace and trust in the Universe are the fastest pathways for the Universe to rebalance what you perceive as having gone off-center in you and your life, in accordance with how Law of Attraction is designed to work, and does.
It's not always necessarily a simple matter to return to peace and trust once triggered by someone or an event, but it is doable. What is also doable is to practice peace and trust in the Universe before you're triggered. It's like that old saying, "A stitch in time saves nine." If you practice on smaller annoyances, you begin to fine-tune yourself for if or when larger ones come along. None of this means you deny, suppress, or never share what you feel; it's about what you do with and about your emotions that surface as a result of your feelings, and your beliefs.
When you think about seeking or having peace, you may think of a quiet place like an isolated beach or an ashram, or a walk in nature, or eliminating every annoying person or matter from your life. However, there are other ways to seek and create peace that we may not as readily think about: assessing and modifying some of our behaviors. Here are some general behaviors some may want to look at:
What you see in the above list are behaviors or practices that, if we changed or adjusted enough to not do them or not do them the same way or as often as we do, we would experience more peace. There are two ways to seek peace: where you receive (like sitting on a quiet beach or having a serene hour alone or getting a massage) and where you give yourself and others a more pleasant, peaceful experience by modifying your own behaviors that don't serve you (or them) in a good way. These are changes you can assess the need for then follow through on with practice.
We all deal with the need or necessity of change differently, especially when it's a change in us that's needed. Here are some very generalized descriptions of how five behavior types may approach a need for change.
The first three types above are examples of unskillful behaviors, which can be transmuted into skillful ones with guidance and practice. And all five types have "shades," as well as "flavors" of skilled and unskilled aspects. Also, under certain circumstances, any of us might display behaviors from the five types: we may desire to be skillful at all times, but find this isn't always the case. But with practice, we can always improve our ratio of skillful-to-unskillful behaviors.
When we don't observe our own behaviors through the appropriate lens, we miss opportunities to choose ways to have and be the feelings we desire most. Look back at the list of behaviors to consider, and perhaps add your own. Look back at the five behavior types and see which one is your current predominant style and which one you'd prefer to be your predominant style. Be honest, and kind, with yourself as you do this. Always aim at making choices that keep you in integrity and encourage you to do your best and feel your best in any given moment, even if you slip or trip up first. It's a good practice, one you'll appreciate.
Practice makes progress.
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