Trans4mind Home Page
Trans4mind Companies


Uniquely based on empowering personal development, supported by personal trainers, Trans4mind Training's online interactive video workshops meet the need to find new and innovative ways to prosper in a fast-changing business world. YOU can bring this life-changing training to the workplace - and be well paid. No previous experience necessary!

Learn more & get started...

Upbeat or Downbeat?

By Linda Sapadin, Ph.D

Unless you’re a bit of a masochist, you know that when others say nice things to you, it makes you feel pretty good. And when others say nasty things to you, it makes you feel pretty rotten.

But do you know that what you say to yourself also affects how you feel? Ending your sentence on an upbeat note tends to rally feelings of empowerment and possibility. While ending your sentence on a downbeat note tends to spur feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

So wouldn’t it be a good idea to say only nice things to yourself? Well yes, but let’s be realistic. You’re probably not going around saying “good job,” “you look terrific,” or “wow, you’re smart” all day long. (Though I hope, at times, you do compliment yourself like that.)

Since life is filled with complex matters, it’s more likely you’re saying things like:

“I can’t decide if I made the right decision.”
“I don’t know whether to call him or not.”
“I’m unsure about what to do.”

When you make such statements, you tend to feel even more up-in-the-air than before. But here’s an easy way out. Extend your sentence so that it ends with an upbeat thought. By so doing, you'll find yourself feeling more empowered.

Here’s an exercise to clarify this point:

Complete the following sentences with something pertinent to your life:

I can’t ____________.
I don’t know ____________.
I’m unsure about ____________.

Now, say the same sentence but add an additional phrase:

I can’t ____________ but one thing I can do is ____________.
I don’t know ____________ but one thing I do know is ____________.
I’m unsure about ____________ but one thing I’m sure about is ____________.

How did adding the additional phrase change things for you? Most people respond that it helped them to feel less overwhelmed. It gave them hope. Their predicament no longer seemed so insurmountable.

When Nancy was feeling anxious about the upcoming holidays, her first thought was, “I don’t know how I’ll ever get it all done.” When I asked her to extend her sentence with an upbeat thought, it took her less than a New York minute to respond, “I don’t know how I’ll ever get it all done, but one thing I do know is that I can ask my family to take care of some of the cooking.” The additional phrase doesn’t always come so quickly, but give it thought and it will come. And when it does, you will recognize that there’s always some option that will let you breathe easier, feel better.

Make it a habit to end your sentences on an upbeat note. Then notice how your problems suddenly seem just a bit less earth shattering.

Copyright © 2011: Linda Sapadin, Ph.D
Linda Sapadin is a psychologist and personal coach in private practice who specializes in helping people enrich their lives, enhance their relationships and overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. For more information about her work, contact her by email or visit her website at PsychWisdom.
More Happiness & Wellbeing articles

Good info on many topics:
Submit your own article

Tools for Transformation

personal development
Trans4mind offers its visitors a huge range of complimentary personal development resources for self-directed education and transformation of the whole person...
Introduction to our Tools for Transformation. We aim to open up the mind to new ideas, new challenges and new solutions - to think differently and be creative.
Describes all the contents of
Here are our favorite quotes. The best quotes distill powerful wisdom into a few words and can make a real difference to our perception and understanding. Including:
Life  Purpose, Spiritual  Awareness, Success and Abundance, Wisdom from the Heart, Happiness and Wellbeing, Communication & Relationships, Motivation and Leadership, Parenting and Education, Emotional Intelligence, Transitions in Life, Social Community, Quirky Quotes, Creativity, Proverbs, Humor - and many further topics in the Wisdom from the Heart section.
Articles by Peter Shepherd and Wallace Huey. Imagine if the values of the heart could be brought into our families, communities, charities, organizations and businesses... what kind of a world would this create?
Audios by Peter Shepherd, focused on key personal development topics, to help advance your personal growth.
A free meditation program to help you experience the state of unconditional love - key to lasting joy and fulfillment in your life.
Become more clear about your own identity, what you want in life - your life vision - and how to manifest your full potential.
If we do actually have a soul, then where does it go after death? Near-death experiences provide convincing answers.
Check out our fascinating collection of complete books for you to read online, including Peter Shepherd’s Transforming the Mind, which created the foundation of this site back in 1997.
Over 250 PDFs to freely download covering many personal development topics - and including the range of Trans4mind publications.
Free personality test based on the Eysenck Personality Questionnaire. See yourself as others may see you, in a more objective light, so you can know yourself better.
Watch our selection of over 400 personal development videos by top experts, offering many insights about mind, body and spirit.
Our site is expansive, including loads of helpful resources. See what else we have.

Check out the menus on the top of every page too!

Hypnosis Downloads

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Copyright © 1997-2018 Trans4mind Ltd
Terms of Use & Privacy Policy       Email Webmaster