Reconnect with the Real You!
By Stephanie Marston, MFT
You're probably wondering, what in the heck am I talking about? I know myself. After all, I'm with myself 24 hours a day seven days a week. How much better can I know me? But when you stop and think about it, you'll realize that you spend so much of your time focused on your relationships with other people that you often neglect the most important relationship of all-the relationship with yourself.
The majority of us are so caught up in our busy lives that we've forgotten who we truly are. We're so invested in what we do to the point that we no longer recognize that that's just one facet of our identity. When someone asks you to introduce yourself, most likely you respond by telling him or her what you do. While that's certainly an important aspect of your life it isn't your whole life or at least it shouldn't be.
I know that this may sound strange, but we are so identified with our roles as mother, wife, caretaker, career person and daughter that we've lost track of ourselves. We forget who we are beyond these roles, we forget who we wanted to be, what we dreamed, what we loved, what we valued. In effect we've forgotten our self. You may be wondering what Self I'm referring to here. Let us take a moment to clarify what I'm talking about.
Have you ever had an experience where you felt as if you were in synch with the universe— like the planets were in perfect alignment, that all was right with the world? You know, those moments when everything is just as it should be? When did you have one of these aha moments? Was it when you gave a terrific presentation at work, made a special connection with one of your children, created a dinner party at which everyone felt comfortable and enjoyed themselves, or was it simply as a result of your having felt well rested and your hair looking great? Take a moment and recall one of these experiences.
While these experiences don't happen often they indicate an alignment between your authentic self and reality that creates a sense of well-being and wholeness. Who among us wouldn't want more of these moments in our life? No one I know. Yet what's required is that we have more close encounters of the authentic kind. In other words, that you become more connected to your essential self.
Many of you may be wondering who is this essential self. While it may be known by several different names, your true self, your essential self, your wise self, but regardless of what name you give it this is the part of you that is eternal and undiminished by time. It is your soul made evident.
While, the only thing we can truly claim to be is ourself far too many of us have buried our authenticity under a façade we constructed in order to please other people— to be socially acceptable. Yet the effort to sustain this image is both draining and self-defeating, and it requires too much energy to maintain. It's time to step free of the scripted life you've been living and search for who you are in the depth of your being. You have to peel away everything that's not essential, and discover a truer identity. You must reclaim the person you truly are. Not the person who abandoned her dreams and made other people or her career the center of her life. Nor the person who is continually trying to prove herself.
It's time to remember what's most important in your life. It's time to remember your hopes, and dreams. It's time to discover your deepest yearnings. Yet in order to do this you must embark on a psychological search-and rescue mission to comb back through your life and recover your joy, wisdom, passion, enthusiasm, self-confidence, vitality-the threads of your true self you lost along the way.
Creating a less stressful life requires courage, commitment and perseverance. All of which you have. The call now is for you to be authentically yourself. In other words, you must become the 3-D Technicolor person you are meant to be.