Quick Tips for Building Self Confidence
These tips come from Roger Elliott, who runs courses and a website dedicated
to building self confidence. You can subscribe to his free Self Confidence
Everybody could do with a confidence boost sometimes, so here are a few tips...
1) Feel Good When You Want
For times when you need a quick boost to your self confidence or self
esteem, find 3 things that make you feel good. These could be memories of
good times, a piece of music, a holiday souvenir, or a person's face - use
photos if it helps. practice thinking about them and bringing them to mind.
Because of the way emotions 'attach' themselves to memories, you will
quickly train yourself to feel good when you want - a great help in
developing self confidence that lasts.
2) Beat Self Consciousness
Learn how to keep your attention off yourself - self consciousness is the
No.1 enemy of self confidence. You can do this easily by following these
a) If you notice you have become self-conscious, (you can usually tell
because you start to feel anxious), choose something 'everyday' you can see
and study it in detail. For example: examine a door, look at the different
textures and shades of color, wonder about who made it and how and so on. The important thing is that you're learning how to keep your attention off yourself.
b) If you feel self-conscious in a social situation, it's usually because
you don't have enough to do! Focus on what your purpose in the situation is.
Whether you're there to: find out if you like the other people in the
situation, make others feel comfortable, find out some information, make
business contacts, and so on... It's easy to feel self-conscious if you have
nothing to do, and much more difficult if your attention is occupied by a
task. Think how comfortable you have been with others when you're all
working toward a common goal. The common goal of socialising could be making
friends, it could be the exchange of mutually beneficial information, it
could be whatever you want it to be!
3) Don't Take Undue Criticism - Even From Yourself!
Challenge your own assumptions. For example, take note that:
Confident-looking people have bad moments too.
b) Just because you feel under-confident, doesn't mean other people can
c) If you're saying things to yourself like "You're no good at anything"
then rest assured, you're wrong. Everyone can compose a sentence, get
successfully to the store, eat without choking. Don't let yourself make
sweeping statements about yourself - in the long run it is this sort of
thing that can really damage your self image. Building self esteem is not
just about thinking good of yourself, it's about not thinking bad for no
d) Just because you have felt bad about yourself in the past doesn't mean
you're always going to feel that way. I have seen hundreds of people
surprise themselves once they have learned how to build self confidence in a
way that it stays built!
Persevere and don't expect everything at once. Really learn how to develop
your self confidence by following the tips from this page and the free Self
Confidence Course (URL above) and notice the small differences as they
happen. Beating low self esteem is a wonderful thing, and it's much easier
than you'd imagine.
It's no accident that some people seem to be highly confident. They simply
know how to do it! Belief in yourself and your abilities is a skill, and it
can be learned. We at Trans4mind have tried this course and it
works! It's so simple - whether you need help with low self-esteem, or just
want a quick a boost to get you through an interview, presentation or