5 Steps to Creating Happily Ever After
By Veronica Drake
Over the course of a lifetime we will experience many extraordinary relationships, however, there is none quite as special as the one you will have with yourself.
Our lives are made up of the stories we've learned and continue to tell ourselves. I have discovered that we are the authors of our story simply because we chose to be and re-writing our story is an option we have. I lived my story unconsciously for a lot of years and let other people author the chapters. My story includes infidelity up close and personal, both perspectives, firsthand experience with sexual violation, and even an intimate connection with thoughts of suicide. I blamed everyone for the agony that was my life.
With a lot of Divine intervention I eventually realized I was telling my story from a perspective that did not empower me. A story I had thrived on and formed the foundation of my life on. A story that began once upon a time and one that will most definitely end happily ever after; as I now own the fact that I am the author of my story... of my life.
Today as I sit here listening to the crickets chirp and smell the early morning dew, I review thoughts of yesteryear; the thoughts that I lovingly and gently gave myself permission to release. I don't see things as good or bad anymore; I simply see it all as necessary.
I searched for years for answers. I longed for comfort to soothe my aching soul. I looked to girlfriends, therapist and even my husband for MY answers to what was happening to me. I was trusting everyone else to know me better than I knew myself, maybe not consciously, but I was.
After years of research I have finally discovered how to communicate with myself and how to trust what I hear. This 5 step process is extremely transformative and never lets me down when I face difficult choices. I have dedicated my life to empowering women to have powerful relationships with themselves and this process allows the relationship to blossom. I recommend that you check in daily with yourself. Create a beautiful ritual of honoring what is.
Here are the 5 steps:
- Get Quiet - Place yourself in surroundings that are soothing and hold special meaning to you.
- Take inventory - Identify the one issue that is the loudest; one issue that keeps you awake at night or follows you throughout your day. Gently release the others. Imagine you are packing them away on a shelf or tying them to a balloon that is carrying them far away for now. No worries they will return you are not ignoring them forever.
- Drop inside - Simply ask yourself what wants to be revealed with regard to the issue you identified - what does it want to say to you? Allow yourself not to censor what you are feeling and thinking.
- Become the observer - Allow yourself to "sit with" the feeling/ thought. Be mindful of how it shows up in your actions/behaviors. Just watch, do not become overwhelmed with the thought. You are merely an observer.
- Practice acceptance - Allow whatever is there to be there; treat it as if it were your friend (in reality it is). When we judge or avoid what IS, we create more of the same. Allow whatever is presenting itself to simply be. Talk to the feeling like you would your best friend. Be compassionate, understanding, and accepting of what you are feeling. No running, no excuses... just accept and allow.
After you experience the shift (it doesn't feel so heavy) ask what your next course of action should be. Be mindful to really surrender to the process. This inner voice will never cause panic or make you feel afraid. If those feelings come in simply ask them to leave. Breathe through it and shift them out.
Practice this daily and before long it becomes a natural way to live life. You are the author of your story and you decide how it plays out. Go forward and be creative in designing your life.