Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Who Would He Be?

By Karen Wright

"What we see depends mainly on what we look for." ~ John Lubbock

My father was younger than I am now when he died. It will be thirty years ago in another few days. A single-car accident. They say he was killed instantly. I remember getting the dreadful call. I remember not feeling much of anything. That's not an indictment of him or our relationship. Although we'd certainly had our differences. I'd just never received such a call before. I just remember being numb.

I think all parent-child relationships are problematic. How can they not be? Parents see their kids as extensions of themselves and kids see their parents as impediments to their thirst for autonomy...even if they don't really know what that means. The whole parent-child dance is about hanging on and letting go. On both sides. Trouble is, each side is ready at different times. But, somehow we make it through. And, if we're lucky, we manage to take all the upheaval of that love-hate relationship and look back with a kinder eye. However it felt at the time, we all did the best we knew how to do. And, in hindsight, we'd all do it differently.

I often wonder what my Dad would be like now. He'd be just over 81. I wonder if he would have found some inner peace in the past thirty years. He always seemed to have a seed of discontent about him. Like he was hungry for something he couldn't quite name. He read a lot. U.S. News and World Report. He watched the news. He had some pretty specific views of what ailed this world.

He also had a great smile. I remember days and days of summer fun. Water skiing. He chided me when I was first learning. I'd feel the tug of the tow rope and let go. "Don't let go, let the boat pull you up," he instructed me. So, I didn't let go. But, the boat didn't pull me up. I drank a lot of water that day.

A few years after Dad died I had a dream about him. It was short, but I remember every detail. We stood side by side in a long empty school corridor. Student lockers lined one side of the hallway. They were forest green and vented. Their doors were closed, but not locked. The lockers went on for as far as the eye could see. Hundreds of them - vanishing into the distance.

Dad turned to me - he seemed peaceful, at last. He pointed to the never-ending row of lockers and said, "In each one of these is a part of me you never knew."

And then the dream ended.

Now, as an adult, I gaze back and realize that I really didn't know him. He was Dad. I was a kid. What do kids know of parents? We don't know their hopes and their fears. We don't know their experiences and why they see the world as they do. We don't know who they were before we arrived. Or who they always hoped they'd be.

Some of you still have Dad around. And Mom too, not to leave her out of the picture. Some of you still have time to find out what's behind some of those locker doors. It would probably surprise you... and possibly change the parent you've constructed in your head. You could find yourself in a completely different relationship.

We don't open our locker doors for others to see inside. It's not for us to do. These doors open at the hands of those who want to know. Who are willing to admit that they might have a narrow picture of the one they think they know so well. Those who want to change the dance and look with eyes that can see beyond childhood myopia.

Each and every day we have a chance to rediscover our relationships and redefine our pasts. We know so little of those we are closest to. We all hide so much. What a loss. Maybe, before we sit with just a memory, we can set aside what we think we know to find out who Dad or Mom really is. And maybe, just maybe, we can learn who we are too. Perhaps that is all we are really here to do.

Karen is author of The Sequoia Seed: Remembering the Truth of Who You Are, a great read for anyone who is seeking understanding or guidance, inspiration or clarity in his or her life.

More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

Good info on many topics:

Want to renew your life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development...
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Consultation...

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Hypnosis is the key to unlocking your creativity, focusing your energy and understanding yourself

Hypnosis has a long history of helping human beings be the very best they can be. It can be used to control anything controlled by the unconscious mind - pain, blood pressure, fear, confidence levels, mood, sex drive... the list goes on:

  1. You'll become highly productive without getting stressed
  2. Tap into your creative energies instantly
  3. Really understand yourself and others
  4. You'll learn how to stay calm in high pressure or uncomfortable situations
  5. Develop laser-like levels of focus and concentration

Lean more... Uncommon Hypnosis Course

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
And here's a fantastic resource for self-education...

The World of Inspiration eLibrary

World of Inspiration
A treasure trove of personal development wisdom

Step inside. Just like a real library, there are thousands of quality eBooks presented on three "floors" and in different "rooms." To purchase your $15 Lifetime Membership to the World of Inspiration eLibrary, click the following button:

Payment is made through our secure transaction agent, PayPal.
The transaction is in the language and currency of your choice.
"I want to just say 'WOW!' This collection is probably the best money I ever spent! I've already received many times over in personal enrichment after just 9 days. I've had a past metaphysical background, but even newcomers to this material will really benefit. Thanks again." ~ J.S. (Pennsylvania, USA)
"The collection is everything which you promised. And more! A superb contribution to the good of the world. Many thanks indeed." ~ R.P. (Georgia, USA)
"Just a short note of thanks for the library. I've only had membership for several days now but I already feel this is perhaps the most interesting compilation I have yet seen. Worth far more than the price of admission. The browser linked structure works well and makes it easy to manage such a large storehouse of information. It is rarely that I find something I like as much as this or that I feel strongly enough to write a note like this." ~ P.W. (Minnesota, USA)
Copyright © 1997-2017 Trans4mind Ltd