Trans4mind Home Page

Doing What DOESN'T Come Naturally

By Linda Sapadin, Ph.D

Feel sad? Down in the dumps? Tough for you to get out of bed?

Feel angry? Churning inside? Ready to blow a gasket? Have a hissy fit?

Feel worried? Anguish about the future? Second-guess your decisions? Unable to let things be?

Well, if these are your honest emotions, you need to experience them—not deny, distort, or suppress them.

Indeed, sadness may be the only sincere response to losing someone or something you truly care about.

Anger as a response to what's not just or fair is what helps to make things right.

Worry may avert disaster - if you truly can do something about what worries you.

That said, there are times when people hold onto these negative feelings too long. They don’t just feel them, they embrace and exaggerate them, until the feeling transforms into an identity.

When that happens, they don’t just feel sad, angry, or worried; they become ‘those people’ with despair in their heart, a chip on their shoulder, fear in their soul. Yes, there’s a huge difference between feeling sad and being a sad person; feeling angry and being an angry person; feeling worried and being an anxious person.

If you believe it’s time for you to let go of emotions that have been robbing you of a good life, here’s how to move from a web of destructive feelings to constructive actions.

Do what DOESN’T come naturally!

ACT, not how you are feeling right now, but in a contrary way to how you are feeling! Yes, I know it’s hard but give it a try.

If you're down in the dumps, it’s okay to feel this way, for a period of time. But, if you are in danger of becoming a pessimistic, joyless soul, take action. Even if your heart is not in it, push yourself to go, to do, to work, to play, to be with others, to smile, to laugh, anything that will get you out of your doldrums and into experiencing, once again, whatever is good in life.

If something has gotten you ticked off, you’re entitled to be mad - for a period of time. But, there’s also a time to let go, to take care of you.Rather than using up your energy on the one who has wronged you, take that precious energy and do something nice for yourself or for someone else you love.

If you're feeling fearful about the future, it’s okay to feel worried - for a period of time. However, if your worries are creating undue distress for you, it’s time to act differently from the way you feel. Yes, you will be on pins and needles about trying a new activity, speaking up, taking a risk, but do it anyway.

Courage is not the absence of fear. It is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

Acting contrary to the way you feel may seem counter-intuitive to you. Yet, that may be exactly what you must do to bolster your mental, emotional and physical health.

“It's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting.”
~ Jerry Sternin

Copyright © 2016: Linda Sapadin, Ph.D
Linda Sapadin is a psychologist and personal coach in private practice who specializes in helping people enrich their lives, enhance their relationships and overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. For more information about her work, contact her by email or visit her website at PsychWisdom.
Share on Facebook   Share on Twitter
More Goals & Life Coaching articles
Latest Additions

Good info on many topics:

Tools for Transformation

personal development
Trans4mind offers its visitors a huge range of complimentary personal development resources for self-directed education and transformation of the whole person...
HOW TO USE THESE FREE RESOURCES 
Introduction to our Tools for Transformation. We aim to open up the mind to new ideas, new challenges and new solutions - to think differently and be creative.
WORDS OF WISDOM 
Here are our favorite quotes. The best quotes distill powerful wisdom into a few words and can make a real difference to our perception and understanding. Including:
Life  Purpose, Spiritual  Awareness, Success and Abundance, Wisdom from the Heart, Happiness and Wellbeing, Communication & Relationships, Motivation and Leadership, Parenting and Education, Emotional Intelligence, Transitions in Life, Social Community, Quirky Quotes, Creativity, Proverbs, Humor - and many further topics in the Wisdom from the Heart section.
INSIDE-OUT BLOG 
Articles by Peter Shepherd and Wallace Huey. Imagine if the values of the heart could be brought into our families, communities, charities, organizations and businesses... what kind of a world would this create?
TRANS4MIND PODCASTS 
Audios by Peter Shepherd, focused on key personal development topics, to help advance your personal growth.
RAISE YOUR VIBRATION 
A free meditation program to help you experience the state of unconditional love - key to lasting joy and fulfillment in your life.
THE POSITIVE APPROACH 
Become more clear about your own identity, what you want in life - your life vision - and how to manifest your full potential. And then move on to the free New Life Course to advance in many further ways.
THE AFTERLIFE 
If we do actually have a soul, then where does it go after death? Near-death experiences provide convincing answers.
ONLINE BOOKS 
Check out our fascinating collection of complete books for you to read online, including Peter Shepherd’s Transforming the Mind, which created the foundation of this site back in 1997.
EBOOK DOWNLOADS 
Over 250 PDFs to freely download covering many personal development topics - and including the range of Trans4mind publications.
KNOW YOUR OWN MIND 
Free personality test based on the Eysenck Personality Questionnaire. See yourself as others may see you, in a more objective light, so you can know yourself better.
AND LOTS MORE 
Our site is expansive, including loads of helpful resources. See what else we have.

Check out the menus on the top of every page too!

Hypnosis Downloads

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Copyright © 1997-2018 Trans4mind Ltd
Terms of Use & Privacy Policy       Email Webmaster