Trans4mind Home Page

Doing What Doesn't Come Naturally

By Linda Sapadin, Ph.D

Often feel sad? Down in the dumps? Tough for you to get out of bed?

Often feel angry? Churning inside? Ready to blow a gasket? Have a hissy fit?

Often feel worried? Anguish about the future? Second-guess your decisions? Unable to let things be?

Well, if these are your honest emotions, you need to experience them—not deny, distort, or suppress them.

Indeed, sadness may be the only sincere response to losing someone or something you truly care about. And wrongs can be righted if you express your anger about what’s not just or fair. And worry may avert disaster - if you truly can do something about what worries you.

That said, there are times when people hold onto these negative feelings too long. They don’t just feel them--they embrace and exaggerate them---until the feeling states transform into an identity.

When that happens, they don’t just feel sad, angry, or worried; they become ‘those people’ with despair in their heart, a chip on their shoulder, fear in their soul. Yes, there’s a huge difference between feeling sad and being a sad person; feeling angry and being an angry person; feeling worried and being an anxious person.

If you believe it’s time for you to let go of emotions that have been robbing you of a good life, here’s how to move from a web of destructive feelings to constructive actions.

Do what DOESN’T come naturally!

ACT, not how you are feeling right now, but in a contrary way to how you are feeling!

Yes, I know it’s hard but give it a try.

If you're down in the dumps, it’s okay to feel this way ---for a period of time. But, if you are in danger of becoming a pessimistic, joyless soul, take action. Even if your heart is not in it, push yourself to go, to do, to work, to play, to be with others, to smile, to laugh, anything that will get you out of your doldrums and into experiencing, once again, whatever is good in life.

If something has gotten you ticked off, you’re entitled to be mad---for a period of time. But, there’s also a time to let go, to take care of you.Rather than using up your energy on the one who has wronged you, take that precious energy and do something nice for yourself or for someone else you love.

If you're feeling fearful about the future, it’s okay to feel worried---for a period of time. However, if your worries are creating undue distress for you, it’s time to act differently from the way you feel. Yes, you will be on pins and needles about trying a new activity, speaking up, taking a risk, but do it anyway.

Courage is not the absence of fear. It is feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

Acting contrary to the way you feel may seem counter-intuitive to you. Yet, that may be exactly the thing you need to do to bolster your own mental, emotional and physical health.

"It's easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting." ~ Jerry Sternin

Copyright © 2016: Linda Sapadin, Ph.D
Linda Sapadin is a psychologist and personal coach in private practice who specializes in helping people enrich their lives, enhance their relationships and overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. For more information about her work, contact her by email or visit her website at PsychWisdom.

  • Goals
    More Goals & Life Coaching articles

    Good info on many topics:

    Want to renew your life?

    We believe living a life that is just OK is not OK.
    We believe that everyone, given the tools, can live a brilliant life!
    Start off with your Free Life Assessment
       
    Hypnosis Downloads

    + Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

    This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
    Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
     

    View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

    The New Wave in Meditation Technology

    Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
    The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
    is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
    Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
    Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
    Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
    We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
    Copyright © 1997-2018 Trans4mind Ltd