Trans4mind Home Page

Accept Your Own Flawed Brilliance

By Claudette Rowley

There is a definition of self-acceptance that I've embraced lately: Flawed brilliance. Think about it. We are each brilliant AND flawed in our own unique ways. Developing a greater understanding of the depth and breadth of your brilliance, while accepting your flaws with grace, will lead not only to a fuller understanding of yourself, but also to a deeper acceptance.

For example, what do you consistently repress within yourself? This is a great place to look for brilliance and flaws. No clue? Try scanning your life for places in which you feel routinely stuck, frustrated or have a consistently negative response to certain situations. Consistent negative responses often work like lids hiding the contents of your pot of brilliance - something yet uncovered about you that makes you great. Lift the lid and see what's inside. In other words, ask yourself, "What's beneath this reaction?"

So many of us use common beliefs and actions to cover up accurate, positive views of ourselves. Consider the following behaviors. Do you:

  • Let other people assign value to you? Don't. You're the only person who can decide what you're worth.

  • Try to control others' perceptions of you, even though you know this is an impossible task? People will perceive you however they're going to perceive you. Attempting to control their perceptions only leads to heartache and misery. Try not to worry about other people's perceptions. Instead, act in a way that's congruent with who you are and your sense of integrity -- and that will shine through brightly.

  • Mostly notice what you do wrong? Stop! Start noticing what you do right. I challenge you to keep a running list of everything you well for the next week. The length of this list may surprise you.

Recognizing the ways we block our brilliance - while identifying opportunities to build self acceptance - is critical. Here are three gateways to acceptance.

  1. Trust yourself and trust what you want. Self-trust is a challenge. Practice trusting yourself, your instincts and your desires.

  2. Name it - then own it. In other words, own your accomplishments and your flaws equally. Typically, we hide behind one or the other. This strategy does not work because it leaves us focusing only on our flaws or touting our accomplishments while refusing to take an honest look at ourselves. We all have tremendous accomplishments and we all have tremendous flaws. Make peace with this fact and you'll change your life dramatically.

  3. Stop over-owning and under-owning. Often in order to feel like we have more control in a situation (the perception of more control lessens our feeling that life is an uncertain proposition at best), we'll take too much ownership in a situation or not enough. We become over-responsible or seek to avoid responsibility altogether.
Through greater self-acceptance, it's easier to transform any situation simply by shifting our thoughts and, in turn, our emotional responses. When we accept ourselves more fully, we judge ourselves less, we value ourselves more and this state allows us to observe our internal and external worlds more objectively. As the observer, you create a buffer of space that gives you the opportunity to be more detached from a situation, its circumstances and outcome. Through the act of detaching, you are able to transform your perception of a situation - which shifts your thoughts and your emotional response.

Whenever I say the words "flawed brilliance," the image of diamonds comes to mind. Some of the most expensive and most sought-after diamonds in the world contain minor flaws. Yet they're still brilliant, valued and sought after. If you honored your brilliance and your flaws - both without judgment - how would you transform your life in this moment? I encourage you to ask yourself this question daily. The outcome will probably surprise you in the very best possible way.

Copyright © 2008 Claudette Rowley
Claudette Rowley, coach and author, helps professionals identify and pursue their true purpose and calling in life. Learn more at Claudette Rowley.com.
More Goals & Life Coaching articles

Good info on many topics:
Submit your own article

Tools for Transformation

personal development
Trans4mind offers its visitors a huge range of complimentary personal development resources for self-directed education and transformation of the whole person...
HOW TO USE THE RESOURCES 
Introduction to our Tools for Transformation. We aim to open up the mind to new ideas, new challenges and new solutions - to think differently and be creative.
SEE THE SITE MAP 
Describes all the contents of Trans4mind.com.
WORDS OF WISDOM 
Here are our favorite quotes. The best quotes distill powerful wisdom into a few words and can make a real difference to our perception and understanding. Including:
Life  Purpose, Spiritual  Awareness, Success and Abundance, Wisdom from the Heart, Happiness and Wellbeing, Communication & Relationships, Motivation and Leadership, Parenting and Education, Emotional Intelligence, Transitions in Life, Social Community, Quirky Quotes, Creativity, Proverbs, Humor - and many further topics in the Wisdom from the Heart section.
INSIDE-OUT BLOG 
Articles by Peter Shepherd and Wallace Huey. Imagine if the values of the heart could be brought into our families, communities, charities, organizations and businesses... what kind of a world would this create?
TRANS4MIND PODCASTS 
Audios by Peter Shepherd, focused on key personal development topics, to help advance your personal growth.
RAISE YOUR VIBRATION 
A free meditation program to help you experience the state of unconditional love - key to lasting joy and fulfillment in your life.
THE POSITIVE APPROACH 
Become more clear about your own identity, what you want in life - your life vision - and how to manifest your full potential.
THE AFTERLIFE 
If we do actually have a soul, then where does it go after death? Near-death experiences provide convincing answers.
ONLINE BOOKS 
Check out our fascinating collection of complete books for you to read online, including Peter Shepherd’s Transforming the Mind, which created the foundation of this site back in 1997.
EBOOK DOWNLOADS 
Over 250 PDFs to freely download covering many personal development topics - and including the range of Trans4mind publications.
KNOW YOUR OWN MIND 
Free personality test based on the Eysenck Personality Questionnaire. See yourself as others may see you, in a more objective light, so you can know yourself better.
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT VIDEOS 
Watch our selection of over 400 personal development videos by top experts, offering many insights about mind, body and spirit.
AND LOTS MORE 
Our site is expansive, including loads of helpful resources. See what else we have.

Check out the menus on the top of every page too!

Trans4mind Companies

TRANS4MIND TRAINING FOR COMPANIES

Today companies need to find new and innovative ways to prosper in a fast-changing business world. Uniquely based on empowering personal development, supported by personal trainers, Trans4mind Training's online interactive video workshops meet this need without any disruption to your existing operations

Learn more & get started...

Unlocking Mental Wealth. Activating Self-Leadership
Hypnosis Downloads

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Copyright © 1997-2018 Trans4mind Ltd
Terms of Use & Privacy Policy       Email Webmaster