You can only transform an emotion by experiencing the emotion that you wish to transform.
So if your life is running in cycles and you keep bumping up against the same "stuff", ask yourself these two life transforming questions:
On the other side of every breakdown is a breakthrough. It's not that we don't want to change but rather we are afraid to break down. Just let go and let God work his magic. FEEL the emotion that is there. You are designed to feel your emotions, as they are exquisitly designed to guide you to all you need to know. As you experience the emotion, you may be uncomfortable to say the least. But it's worth it. You can take consolation in knowing that there is a miracle taking place... and it is waiting for you on the other side.
You only have one life to live - make it the best one.