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How to Gain a Good Self-Esteem - the Easy Way

By Carna Zacharias-Miller

Need more self-esteem? I thought so.

Just about all of us would like to see some degree of improvement in the way we perceive ourselves. If only there was a magic pill that would make us feel bold, smart, rich, beautiful, and cute all at the same time. Yet, this priceless treasure called self-esteem seems to be elusive and volatile.

To make matters worse, everybody else seems to have it in abundance - so why can't I just grab a big junk of it and hold on to it, at least until I have secured this great job/lover/win?

Well, there is a reason for this: self-esteem is not a single, solid "thing" one can chase down, obtain and possess. It is rather a fluid quality that evolves naturally, when the obstructions that keep it from expanding are dissolved. These obstructions could be: traumatic (childhood) memories, bad habits, fears/phobias, performance anxiety, or a poor body image. In other words, it is usually not a single negative event or circumstance that does the damage: It's the long-lasting, underlying, often hidden issues that erode our self-worth, often without our awareness.

O.K., there really is no magic pill to get rid of all these problems in a very short time, but there is something that comes pretty close: it is called EFT, and it is designed to take on everything that stands in the way of high self-esteem.

So, what is EFT? Developed by Gary Craig, EFT is an emotional form of acupressure. You tap with your fingertips to stimulate certain meridian energy points on your body while you are "tuned in" to your problem. The cause of every negative emotion lies in the disruption of the body's energy system. EFT is usually rapid, long-lasting and gentle. No need for drugs or equipment. It is easily learned by anyone, children included.

Let's say you had a father who told you that you were a failure and that you would never amount to anything. In this case, you could first tune into the pain and the anger surrounding this relationship and tap on these feelings. Most likely, memories will come up. Was there a specific situation when he put you down? What did you feel? Go through every memory and feeling. Often, the emotional intensity decreases immediately.

Another example: You have low self-esteem, because you are overweight. There are several approaches possible. Do you have any cravings? Tap on each and every one of them. Do you dislike your body? Tap on your specific feeling. Emotional pain? Get specific and tap on it.

Sometimes, especially with complex problems, it is more effective to do the tapping under the guidance of an EFT practitioner. However, any tapping on a specific issue and the pain, anger, or sadness that surrounds it, helps. Dissolve the negative emotions that control your life, and high self-esteem emerges - naturally.

Carna Zacharias-Miller, EFT-CC, EFT-ADV, is a practitioner in Central Florida who uses Gary Craig's original method. She offers live and telephone EFT sessions. To get more information, participate in a Forum, and to download the Basic EFT Tapping Sequence, visit her web site www.missingmother.com.

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