Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Stop Fighting Your Fears

By Louis Savalli

Allow them. Let them hit you. Let them make you cry. Find a nice quiet place, where you're alone and won't bother anyone, and let your fears run wild and free in your mind.

The emotion of fear has gotten a bad reputation. It's been said in our popular culture that we must fight or ignore fear, or have "no fear" as per the corporate slogan. That we should conquer it, beat it up, and make it submit, and that is a key to success. Right?

Wrong. This is dysfunctional and senseless. Growing up, nobody ever spelled out for me what fear was or how to handle it. I suspect that is true for most people. Having been taught that fear is a bad thing, and showing fear was even worse, I practiced repressing it from a very young age.

The problem with that approach, which was the only one I could think of for so long, is that you're not learning from your fear – you're denying it. This also serves to stunt your growth as a person. Show me someone in their thirties and forties who acts like a teenager, and I'll show you someone who isn't dealing with their fears and unpleasant emotions. They live in denial, which causes other problems.

Living in denial forces you to modify your world view to fit that denial, because your worldview can't point to the fact that you're feeling fear. For example, you're in a relationship with a person and you feel insecure – you're afraid. You're afraid that they'll leave you or find someone better than you. BUT – you're in denial, so you can't admit to yourself or show anyone that you're afraid. So you modify your world view. It's not that you're afraid, it's that your significant other is doing something wrong. Maybe they're dressing too provocatively or flirting suggestively with other people. And then you're angry with your significant other because they're making you feel bad.

But they're not – you already felt bad to begin with. The unpleasantness, the fear – started and ended with you. It's just that you can't see this because you're in denial.

Living like this is a good way to blame others for your problems. I did plenty of that growing up and well into my twenties. It wasn't until my late twenties and early thirties did I really come to see that all of my fears and dysfunctions – all of them – started and ended with me. It was only when I became aware of how I really felt, then took full responsibility for it – that I was able to change it.

This is why I encourage you not to fight your fear, because it's a poor metaphor for what's happening. Fear is there for a reason. If you're doing something and you're feeling fear, don't ignore it. Don't push it down, drown it in alcohol or smoke it away with pot (which is only temporary anyway). If you want to develop as a human – to change, to grow, to enjoy everyday life a little more – deal with the fear.

The key is dealing with fear properly, and using it for growth and development purposes. Most of the "battle" so to speak is just becoming aware that you feel afraid of something or someone. Once you can see that and admit it, you've crested the hill. The hard part is over. Then you have to accept it – to let it be. And let yourself feel it. Actually let yourself experience the emotions you've been denying for so long. Yes, it's unpleasant – but it's temporary and it's good for you.

Then, and only then, will you begin to learn from the fear. As you truly let yourself experience it, you'll have insights pop into your head about what the fear is, where it's from, and how it's affected you. And it'll become clear what you need to do, think, or not do or not think to move beyond it and let it go.

Life brings you these fears for a reason – they directly relate to you as a soul; they're rooted more deeply in your psyche. And by healing and releasing them – by truly overcoming them (not repressing, not denying, not ignoring) – you transcend them. And for each fear you do this with, your life will be forever better.

Louis Savalli is an enthusiast of all things related to personal growth and spirituality. He has been learning and writing for 17 years and enjoys sharing his insights with others. He currently resides in upstate NY with his wife and two children. Connect with Louis at

Out of the box

Looking for a better life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development, covering the full range of challenges all of us inevitably meet in life.
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Intro Session...

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd
More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

Good info on many topics:

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Sweet Tooth ~ Train your brain to lose your sweet tooth.
  • Finish What You Start ~ Sprint all the way past the finish line.
  • Do It Now ~ A hypnosis audio to trigger deep, emotionally driven activity.
  • Life Priorities ~ Hypnosis can help you clarify what really matters to you.
  • Stop Thinking About Someone ~ A session to help you move on from thoughts that have been constantly pestering you.
  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Hypnosis is the key to unlocking your creativity, focusing your energy and understanding yourself

Hypnosis has a long history of helping human beings be the very best they can be. It can be used to control anything controlled by the unconscious mind - pain, blood pressure, fear, confidence levels, mood, sex drive... the list goes on:

  1. You'll become highly productive without getting stressed
  2. Tap into your creative energies instantly
  3. Really understand yourself and others
  4. You'll learn how to stay calm in high pressure or uncomfortable situations
  5. Develop laser-like levels of focus and concentration

Lean more... Uncommon Hypnosis Course

Copyright © 1997-2017 Trans4mind Ltd