Do you ever get stuck in a funk?
You feel miserable. Too much is expected of you. You can’t keep up. So what do you do? You crawl back into bed (either literally or figuratively), telling yourself, “I can never keep up; I’ll always be stuck in this misery.” Not only do you feel miserable; you keep obsessing about the “fact” that you feel miserable.”
If you have ever felt like this, I want to tell you that the first thing you need to do to feel better is to get rid of the words “ALWAYS” and “NEVER.” Throw them in the junk pile. Kick them in the trash. Delete them from your vocabulary.
Then, substitute the words “right now.” “Right now, I feel miserable. Right now too much is expected of me. Right now I can’t keep up.”
Go ahead, say those sentences out loud. Notice the difference in how you feel compared to when you use the words “always” and “never.” No, changing your words won’t solve all your problems, but they do set you firmly on the road to resilience.
Resilience – it’s a familiar word. But what exactly is it?
It’s your ability to bounce back from distressful, even traumatic events. Being resilient doesn’t mean you don’t have difficult, painful, stressful moments. It doesn’t mean that you don’t feel sad, mad, scared. It does mean, however, that in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, relationship, workplace or financial stress, you’re able to surmount your difficulties and get back to normal – though normal may be somewhat different from the way it was.
Can you do anything else to build resilience besides changing your choice of words? Certainly! Here are a few guidelines for you:
Sooner or later, life will burst your bubble. Hopefully, it won’t be too bad but it may clobber you with unexpected blows. At these times, it’s essential to be resilient, to bend — but not break. To be your own best friend. To relinquish blame. To put things in perspective. To remember your resources. To hone in on what works. And give yourself time to emerge as a stronger, wiser, more resilient human being.