Trans4mind Home Page

Getting Naked, Emotionally

naked emotions

By Linda Sapadin, Ph.D

“The whole intimacy thing; it’s tough,” she said. “It’s so much easier for me to take my clothes off than to undress emotionally. Bob and I have been going out for months. He thinks he knows me but he doesn’t have a clue about all the things I keep inside me.”

For Marianna, shedding her clothes was easy; shedding her outer layer to expose her most vulnerable self was tough. It required her to trust. To have confidence in herself. To have faith that her partner would treat her most vulnerable self with care. Could she let him know her hopes? Her fears? Her cravings? Could she let herself be emotionally exposed?

He believed he knew her well. They had good times together. And yet, he could sense that there was something missing. He didn’t know what. He had stroked her skin. He had touched the most vulnerable parts of her body. And yet, he knew as much about her as a book whose attractive cover he was drawn to but had never read.

Marianna was in turmoil. She knew that there was much that he didn’t know about her and would never know until she was open enough to share her secrets. What brings her to tears? What terrifies her? What breaks her heart? Would he care about her if she shared her painful childhood wounds? Would he respect her if he knew about her past mistakes? Would he stay with her if she revealed her insecurities?

Being vulnerable had never been Marianna’s strong suit. She had too many memories of her brother taunting her, calling her “crazy,” ”stupid,” “slutty.” And her parents remaining silent, seeming to agree.

But now the stakes were high. She loved her boyfriend. Could she overcome these fears of rejection? Again, she could be misunderstood, ridiculed or rejected. Should she trust her boyfriend? Let him know about her apprehension, animosity, anger?

Though the thought of opening up terrified her, once she appreciated the following truths, she was able to move forward:

  • You can let your guard down in stages.
  • There is no need to open up everything to everyone. A bit at a time works well.
  • Once you test the waters, you can share more.
  • Before you share, you can ask your partner to be accepting of what you’re about to tell him.
  • You can gauge his reaction, opening up more if he’s accepting and appreciative of what you’re telling him.
  • You can seek out opportunities to be more vulnerable. And notice what happens when you are.
  • You can pat yourself on the back for taking the risk to share your vulnerable self.
  • You can remind yourself that learning any new skill takes time and practice.
  • You can appreciate how much closer you feel to people when you have shared your true self.
  • You can rejoice in being able to be vulnerable with loved ones.

Yes, Marianna still had moments in which she was guarded, hesitant to share her true feelings. But in those moments when she chose to be emotionally naked and was accepted, she felt fantastic! Affirmed and Appreciated! What could be better?

Copyright © 2018: Linda Sapadin, Ph.D
Linda Sapadin is a psychologist and personal coach in private practice who specializes in helping people enrich their lives, enhance their relationships and overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. For more information about her work, contact her by email or visit her website at PsychWisdom.
Share on Facebook   Share on Twitter
Please share this page (non-tracking links)
More Emotional Intelligence articles

Good info on many topics:
Submit your own article

Tools for Transformation

personal development
Trans4mind offers its visitors a huge range of complimentary personal development resources for self-directed education and transformation of the whole person...
HOW TO USE THE RESOURCES 
Introduction to our Tools for Transformation. We aim to open up the mind to new ideas, new challenges and new solutions - to think differently and be creative.
SEE THE SITE MAP 
Describes all the contents of Trans4mind.com.
WORDS OF WISDOM 
Here are our favorite quotes. The best quotes distill powerful wisdom into a few words and can make a real difference to our perception and understanding. Including:
Life  Purpose, Spiritual  Awareness, Success and Abundance, Wisdom from the Heart, Happiness and Wellbeing, Communication & Relationships, Motivation and Leadership, Parenting and Education, Emotional Intelligence, Transitions in Life, Social Community, Quirky Quotes, Creativity, Proverbs, Humor - and many further topics in the Wisdom from the Heart section.
INSIDE-OUT BLOG 
Articles by Peter Shepherd and Wallace Huey. Imagine if the values of the heart could be brought into our families, communities, charities, organizations and businesses... what kind of a world would this create?
TRANS4MIND PODCASTS 
Audios by Peter Shepherd, focused on key personal development topics, to help advance your personal growth.
RAISE YOUR VIBRATION 
A free meditation program to help you experience the state of unconditional love - key to lasting joy and fulfillment in your life.
THE POSITIVE APPROACH 
Become more clear about your own identity, what you want in life - your life vision - and how to manifest your full potential.
THE AFTERLIFE 
If we do actually have a soul, then where does it go after death? Near-death experiences provide convincing answers.
ONLINE BOOKS 
Check out our fascinating collection of complete books for you to read online, including Peter Shepherd’s Transforming the Mind, which created the foundation of this site back in 1997.
EBOOK DOWNLOADS 
Over 250 PDFs to freely download covering many personal development topics - and including the range of Trans4mind publications.
KNOW YOUR OWN MIND 
Free personality test based on the Eysenck Personality Questionnaire. See yourself as others may see you, in a more objective light, so you can know yourself better.
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT VIDEOS 
Watch our selection of over 400 personal development videos by top experts, offering many insights about mind, body and spirit.
AND LOTS MORE 
Our site is expansive, including loads of helpful resources. See what else we have.

Check out the menus on the top of every page too!

Trans4mind Companies

TRANS4MIND TRAINING FOR COMPANIES

Today companies need to find new and innovative ways to prosper in a fast-changing business world. Uniquely based on empowering personal development, supported by personal trainers, Trans4mind Training's online interactive video workshops meet this need without any disruption to your existing operations

Learn more & get started...

Unlocking Mental Wealth. Activating Self-Leadership
Hypnosis Downloads

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Copyright © 1997-2018 Trans4mind Ltd
Terms of Use & Privacy Policy       Email Webmaster