Phases of Grief:
Do Solid Remembrance Objects Make
Grieving Easier or More Lengthy?
By David Miller
At 19 years old, Miranda was in her first semester of an intensive college nursing program when she lost her mother. She’d always considered herself a tenacious girl who could take anything life threw her way. The unexpected death of her mom, however, hit her harder than a ton of bricks. She found herself flooded by a sea of emotions, including anger, denial, sadness and especially shock.
Just a week after losing her mother, she returned to school. She walked into her class and was a bit surprised to learn that the lecture was going to be all about the stages of grief. It was that day she learned that some of those intense emotions she had been experiencing were a natural part of the grieving process: recognised stages of grief. She also learned about the emotions she could expect to experience in the days, weeks and months - even years to come.
Dealing with death is an inevitable experience that everyone will encounter at some point in their life, and it can be tough. Very tough. Cremation diamonds have the ability to change a person’s life by helping them deal with some of the different phases of grief, but the risk is that you attach too much to the deceased person and are unable to continue with your life. What are the phases of grief? Do solid objects such as cremation diamonds help someone work through the grieving process?
Overview of the Phases of Grief and How Individuals Experience Them
What is grief? According to Mayo Clinic:
“Grief is a strong, sometimes overwhelming emotion for people, regardless of whether their sadness stems from the loss of a loved one or from a terminal diagnosis they or someone they love have received.”
Grief can be experienced following any type of loss, i.e. job, relationship, home, etc. This article deals with the specific type of grief experienced by those in bereavement following the loss of a loved one, friend or family member.
As originally introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, the theory about the grieving process, which has been widely accepted by psychiatrists and mental health professionals, includes five stages of grief:
- Denial: “This is not real. This can’t be happening.”
- Anger: “Why did this have to happen? Who is responsible?”
- Bargaining: “I would do anything to make this not be real.”
- Depression: “This is too much too bear. I can’t take this”
- Acceptance: “There is nothing I could have done to prevent this.”
Other sources divide the grieving process into seven phases. In the seven stage model, there is an additional stage added. The first stage is known as shock/disbelief, and a stage of guilt is added after bargaining and before depression. However, most sources will combine shock/disbelief with denial, and guilt with bargaining, hence only five phases.
No two people experience grief the same way. The phases of grief are not a set pattern and cannot be followed like a road map, where you start at location A before arriving at location B and finally at location C, etc. The phases of grief come in waves and a person can go in and out of any of the phases at any time in the grieving process. The phases might also overlap as the individual works through the grief felt at the loss of a loved one.
Stages of Grief Challenged for Applicability in Recent Years
In the last decade or so, many have challenged this theory of the grieving process, arguing that the same phases will not be applicable for everyone who is bereaved. Another argument is that the “stages” were never technically proven as fact, but formulated from a personal opinion.
Yale School of Medicine conducted a study that brought about different viewpoints of the grieving process. The lead author of the study, Paul Maciejewski, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Director of the Statistical Modeling Core of Women's Health Research at Yale, explains:
“We found that disbelief was not the initial, dominant grief indicator. Acceptance is the norm in the case of natural deaths, even soon after the loss. And yearning, not depression, was the most common potentially adverse psychological response.”
The study did support many of the stages grief. The authors emphasized a difference in the order, and renamed them to reflect their research more accurately. They also substituted the word “indicators” in place of the word “stages” with the rationale that “stages” indicate a period of time, leaving many waiting for this time period to end. Here are the “grief indicators”, according to the Yale study:
- Disbelief about the death
- Depressive mood
According to their research, disbelief was heightened right after death. Anger, yearning and depression were heightened within four to six months following death. Acceptance was heightened after a six month time period following death.
Cremation Diamonds Can Help People Move Through Stages of Grief
Cremation diamonds provide people with a special way to remember a loved one and celebrate their life after they pass on. These memorial diamonds are transforming the way that people remember their loved ones, and subsequently serve as a significant coping mechanism for working through the grieving process. The following are three examples of how cremation diamonds can help people deal with the stages of grief:
- Cremation Diamonds might Help People Deal with Denial
Denial is a natural reaction to grief. It’s hard to accept that you have lost someone you love that was close to you and that your life must go on without them. However, denying their death can result in isolation and force you to turn others away that are there to support you. Cremation diamonds give you something new that you can hold onto and they serve as a reminder that the deceased loved one is gone.
- Remembrance Diamonds Promote Acceptance
Life will never be the same after losing someone that played a huge role in your life. Acceptance is an important stage of grief, and it’s when you realize that life is never going to be the same again. Memorial diamonds serve as a reminder of how life changes and how you must accept these changes, and evolve into who you are going to be following the death of a close friend or family member.
- Funeral Diamonds Encourage Talking About the Deceased
No matter what stage of grief you are working through or experiencing, talking about your lost loved one and cherishing the memories you have of them is an excellent way to deal with grief. As the months go by, sometimes it might become more difficult to find ways to talk about your loved one. Cremation diamonds serve as an excellent conversation piece to bring up a loved one who has passed away.
Grief is a difficult process to work through and most people will go in and out the different “stages” over a period of time. Keep in mind, there is no specific timeline or order you will follow in your journey. The experience is unique to the individual, and everyone has the right to grieve and deal with death in a way that is right for them.
David Miller is a freelance writer and loves everything tech and psychology. Having dealt with loss early in life, he experienced the hardship of grief first hand. Coping with loss has made him stronger and more positive.