Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Is It Healthy Emotional Flow or It Is Unhealthy Ego Control?

By Dr. Doris Jeanette

Let me say more about control so you begin to see control for what it is. Control is anything you use to avoid reality at any given moment in time. You may have the best intentions in the world, such as becoming healthier and happier, and still end up controlling yourself.

For example, if you are in therapy or some healing process, you might say to yourself, "I have to heal myself. I have to become healthy. I have to do it this way, to do it the right way."

You end up doing the things you "should" do or are "supposed" to do, to heal yourself. Whether your goal is to be more spiritual, or to control your diet, or control your exercise. The result is you are making yourself be a certain way. You are in a state of unhealthy control when you must exercise a certain way or eat in a certain way.

You begin to recognize control by the energy behind your words, actions and behaviors. You cannot recognize control by the content. The content is full of lies, which your ego tells you. Words lie. Energy does not.

Control is a mechanism you use to force yourself to go too fast or too slow. Or in a certain direction you don't really want to go. You begin to notice control by the feel of the energy and not by the content.

Your ego may say to you," Let's go swimming tonight." You think to yourself, "Do I feel like going swimming tonight? " Your ego says, "You know how much you love to go swimming." "Yes, I love swimming more than anything else in the world." Yet, when you pay attention to yourself, you notice, " I don't feel like going swimming tonight." The ego insists," Oh yes, you do!"

As you can see, the way you control yourself can be very subtle and insidious. Begin to notice your ego by its controlling energy so you stop letting it ruin your life. Another example is when you pretend your feelings are not hurt when they really are hurt. Or you pretend you are not afraid, when you really are afraid.

In addition, you can exaggerate you are more upset than you really are. You can react to something as if it was the worst thing in the world and it really isn't the worst thing in the world. You just act like it is the worse thing in the world. This is your ego over reacting.

When I was developing an equal and loving relationship with my mother, she turned whatever I bought up to her about my past hurt feelings against herself. She said, "Oh, what a terrible mother I am. What a horrible mother I was to you," which, of course, was not true. I was not saying she was a terrible mother, I just wanted to express how I felt to her and be listened to. My mother's behavior completely avoided the real situation with me.

What I needed was a real mother to relate to me as a real child. When my mother attacked herself, she was copping out on me. She was not taking responsibility for herself. She was saying what a terrible mother she was, instead of meeting me as an equal and dealing with how I had felt hurt and betrayed by her.

My mother did not say, "I didn't know you felt this way. I am sorry. Let's deal with this. Let's relate to each other and come to know each other." Thanks goodness, we were able to cry together and see each other's point of view in a year or so.

Healthy emotional flow is the result of resolving your past hurts and traumas. You achieve health by giving up control. Instead, accept and be your real self. Your real self has plenty of vital, colorful energy flow. More than enough, to jump up and down, with joy.

Excepted from the ebook by Dr. Doris Jeanette, Opening the Heart, Chapter 1, Feelings: The Source of Authentic Love.

Study with Dr. Doris in the convenience of your home. Choose audio, e books, phone consultations or the popular multimedia e-course "Overcoming Anxiety Naturally" which includes the audio version of "Opening the Heart", a guide on feelings, fear and hurt, plus 6 written lessons and 2 "Thought Taming" CDs.

Dr. Doris is a licensed psychologist with 30+ years of experience helping people love more, feel better and self actualize. She is pioneer in creating a new psychology which embraces healthy emotional and physical energy flow as sign of mental health, emotional health and physical health. For more tips and tools sign up for her free weekly newsletter at Doris

Out of the box
More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

Good info on many topics:

Want to renew your life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development...
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Consultation...

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Hypnosis is the key to unlocking your creativity, focusing your energy and understanding yourself

Hypnosis has a long history of helping human beings be the very best they can be. It can be used to control anything controlled by the unconscious mind - pain, blood pressure, fear, confidence levels, mood, sex drive... the list goes on:

  1. You'll become highly productive without getting stressed
  2. Tap into your creative energies instantly
  3. Really understand yourself and others
  4. You'll learn how to stay calm in high pressure or uncomfortable situations
  5. Develop laser-like levels of focus and concentration

Lean more... Uncommon Hypnosis Course

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
And here's a fantastic resource for self-education...

The World of Inspiration eLibrary

World of Inspiration
A treasure trove of personal development wisdom

Step inside. Just like a real library, there are thousands of quality eBooks presented on three "floors" and in different "rooms." To purchase your $15 Lifetime Membership to the World of Inspiration eLibrary, click the following button:

Payment is made through our secure transaction agent, PayPal.
The transaction is in the language and currency of your choice.
"I want to just say 'WOW!' This collection is probably the best money I ever spent! I've already received many times over in personal enrichment after just 9 days. I've had a past metaphysical background, but even newcomers to this material will really benefit. Thanks again." ~ J.S. (Pennsylvania, USA)
"The collection is everything which you promised. And more! A superb contribution to the good of the world. Many thanks indeed." ~ R.P. (Georgia, USA)
"Just a short note of thanks for the library. I've only had membership for several days now but I already feel this is perhaps the most interesting compilation I have yet seen. Worth far more than the price of admission. The browser linked structure works well and makes it easy to manage such a large storehouse of information. It is rarely that I find something I like as much as this or that I feel strongly enough to write a note like this." ~ P.W. (Minnesota, USA)
Copyright © 1997-2017 Trans4mind Ltd