To Myself, Date & Time : 19th December, 2015, 11:40 PM
In the memory you will find me. Hands burning up. The darkness holding me tightly. Until the sun rises up. Don't remember how many times you were lonely, remember how many days you woke up safe and sound in the morning in your bed and got another day to fix your life. Another set of 24 hrs to do what you always wanted to do. Another opportunity to dare to live and be what you have always dared to live and be. You get this life only once. If you live it well, once is enough.
Keep adding new people to your life. Remove toxic people from your life who cause your faith in God to falter and shatter. Stop taking part in futile activities, stop your bad habits or minimize them to as little as possible. Make a list and become mentally conscious of how many hours you subtly and unconsciously waste away, whiling away worrying about your future and things which you have no control over by sitting idle, while life is simply passing you by...
If a person wants to be productive and be contributing genuinely, he / she will definitely find something meaningful to do or contribute. Nobody's existence is futile. Always remember that. If you can't do big things yet, then start doing small. Earn thousand rupees if you can't earn ten thousand. Earn hundred rupees if you can't earn a thousand. Focus on building relationships, if you can't earn money. Focus on building your personality or taking it to even greater heights if you can't build relationships.
By personality, what I mean is, start rising early, start reading some previously untouched books in your collection, start going to the gym. Start doing things that scare you at first sight such as talk to a new agent, show a flat. Life is all about building it up. You always have two choices. Upgrade or degrade. If you don't upgrade, then you choose to degrade.
Arm yourself starting from now, with skills and talents you never thought possible / achievable. Thinking big is not about making billions, it is about loosing things of which, about which, you have made big issue about till now, in your life. And there will consistently be these things to be found. You will always find, if you care enough to seek, if you desire enough to know, if you desire enough to do.
The problem is there is no self help book that can ever help you. At best, these self help books, you can only refer to and forget. I mean, and then go about your practical application part. Forget what you read, it's all nonsense as it's just another theory, another concept in your head, and a concept cannot make you rich. And a concept is not gonna take you to date, build your relationship or make your money or your career. It's all drama in there in all these books. No real good can come from them.
Stick to your highest dreams, and your highest aspirations, work hard for them to get them into reality and never let them go. These are the only things that will keep you alive. I mean, This kind of lifestyle is the only thing that will keep you alive And guess what ? You will never ever for a single day have to worry about your survival as you will be working and living with your highest energy and with your deepest core.
And believe me, there's no place better than this. There's no paradise better than this. There is no paradise I can even think of after earth, in the sense of heaven and hell. It's difficult to believe that, in all that nonsense. It's difficult to believe if I even exist in any form after death. Or anyone, for that matter. The time is now. This is your life. Either you are living it or it is ending one minute at a time, as the novel fight club says.
Be true to yourself. You don't have to be true with other people. That is not relevant. Cause If you are true to yourself, with yourself, then you always know what to do and how to steer ahead in your life and in your career. Learn to direct yourself like a movie director constantly focussed, worried about and working on fixing his scenes in his film. This life is huge. And because it is huge, it's also a huge opportunity and hence, also becomes a huge responsibility and so, don't let it become a huge burden.
Cause if you do not fulfill your duties and responsibilities to your life enough, sooner or later you / you will automatically start to live it like a huge burden. With huge sorrow and insurmountable worries, depression and problems and when it snowballs, you do not know how to begin and where to begin to start fixing it. Hence, live your life now and start fixing it in the now, learn to practically behave and apply the principle that there's no tomorrow cause there really is no tomorrow !
Whatever things you could fix in your life, you could always fix only because you didn't wait. At these times, you have always known that if you wait, you are gone. The thing in question, or the movement in question won't occur / happen, if not now. Know that "If I don't get myself to act or force myself to act in the now, then........."
It's always been such and it will always remain as such till the end of the world or till the end of time or your time / world. Yes indeed, life is difficult but it's only because it's huge. Didn't even think, let alone know, that something so huge could have fallen into my lap so easily. But now I know that it is huge and it is not to be let go of or let go hold of at any chance, at any cost.
Leave alone people who do not care about you. Go forward, thrive ! In this maze / jungle of life. Be a brave heart. Raise your standards. And dare to meet someone who does. Who has much respect and better understanding with you on mutual terms. If any of your friendship is not mutually beneficial, then end it as soon as you can. You are not here to serve parasites.
Always prepare to lift your own burdens in life, before you go to gym and lift some weights. Your lifting weights will not make you stronger, but you lifting your own life's burdens and problems will make you so...
Always analyze what should have been instead of accepting your past and never working on it to remedy your future. People will never love you or hate you. At best, they can only despise you for being so smart and intelligent than they are. It's a genuine human psychology and they easily get jealous and go against you when you stir up their insecurity in regards to their intelligence.
Learn to disregard people when they are not up to the mark. Learn to let them go. Punish them, the way they did to you. There are more players than lovers in this world. Constantly Meet, promote and demote. Always maintain your independence. Do not get addicted to anyone. Be ruthless. Be a killer. But always a just one. The jury in your head should always come up with a just decision. One that is based on fair play and fair opportunity and respect for the other. Then it be just decision, even if the decision be to punish them by letting them go when they don't want to go or aren't ready to go.
This life is complicated but powerful, none the less. But vengeful, none the less. I have been reading shit since times unknown, since ages. Raise your standards by accepting a minimum basic level of humane treatment and respect that should come from a person. Anything below that is unacceptable and would only work to undermine your faith in God, in world and in all of humanity.
This life is good, multifaceted. All aspects of it have a intensity so intense, it makes you forget about your previous struggles and let's you live anew and fresh, a life constantly being renewed and created from the ashes of your old, which you didn't even think was possible.
Such is the amazing truth and stature of this miracle called life. If the girl can live without me, then she is better off without me ! I should let her go.
The times are hard and trying and also weighs heavily down upon my weary soul but try I must and hold on tight and not let it go, never let it go. I can't miss anybody, anything or any experience from the past, from my past. It has simply ceased to exist. All I have is the new situations, new circumstances and new people, though ever-changing to work out my life and my karmas with.
I consider myself as a man, as the man of the calibre and highly capable of accomplishing worthwhile things. I should not shed a tear when all I fear, I have already traversed. My faith though some times difficult to restore and renew, will always be restored and renewed as there will be no stone left unturned in trying to do so, in all my attempts to do so.
I should always be a whirlpool or an inferno, if I so desire, of ambition, warmth, kindness, love, hard work and all such other good qualities that I desire in all that I do and at all times. Never let a spark escape, catch it and and add it to the building fire, raging storm or the rising inferno. Never spend a moment in unhappiness. You have a limited life as your life comes with an expiry date...
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