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Why Some People Fail in Online Dating
and How to Choose the Right Site


By Oleg Kobets

Is there a business or industry that doesn’t have negative feedbacks or bad reviews? Is there a place where each and every member succeeded? Unfortunately, the answer is quite simple - “No”. The same thing is with online dating, even the best online dating sites have plenty of stories when their clients failed and gave up. So, let’s check these cases and try to find the way to avoid their mistakes.

Case 1: Bad Dating Site

Indeed, there are some websites and agencies that do not meet modern trends, customers’ needs and tech level. However, there can be even worse situation. The site can have low security level, bad members verification system or simply provide with false information. Of course, the bad site will be a reason of failure. So, let’s make a qualities checklist that helps to choose the best dating site for you:

  • Convenient and Intuitive. If the site developers care about it’s convenience it means that they generally care about their members.
  • Protected and Secured. The site has to ensure that the personal information of their members is safe. Also, the platform has to have a protection against external hackers and scammers.
  • Support. There should be a good customer service. It doesn’t mean that the service must be via phone or Skype. It could be via tickets. But it has to help members effectively and in timely manner.
  • Services. When you read about the site services make sure you find those that are crucial for you. If you don’t see them in the list, don't expect them to come soon. For example, not all sites have an option to have a live camera sessions or outdoor activities.
- How to avoid the case? Make sure to read reviews and pick among reliable dating sites.

Case 2: Not Suitable Site

Another reason why some people may fail in online dating is picking the wrong website. One site can be perfect for some people and at the same time it can be completely bad for the others.

Did you know that there are plenty of reliable and functional sites that provide a very specific services for narrow audiences. For example, if the client is over 50, he/she may want to look at senior dating sites rather than signing up for let’s say Cupid or Match. Same thing is with people that need gay dating sites instead of large platforms “for everybody”.


- How to avoid the case? Define your needs and pick the sites that fit your demands. Also, try several sites. It’s not bad to have 2-3 accounts on different sites. At the end of the day you will keep the account that you like the most.

Case 3: High Expectations

Some people enter the site with the extremely high expectations. And unfortunately when they receive not quite what they expected - they give up immediately. Sometimes it happens this way: singles read a success story or review with the text like this: “This site is great! I found my soulmate and we are now getting married. Thanks site! I’m the happiest in the world!”.

What expectation can the person have after reading such reviews? Of course, he or she thinks that after a quick registration there will be a special button that brings the right person immediately and you will be happy for the rest of your life. Obviously, it’s not the case. You must be ready to spend some time for:

  • signing up;
  • filling in the personal profile;
  • searching through the other members’ profiles;
  • communicate with different people online;
  • build relationships.

- How to avoid the case? You have to be ready for complications, time consuming actions and relations that sometimes fail. Online dating just like offline dating is the tool but not the solution. You are the one who operates the tool.

Case 4: Impatience

Another example when people fail in online dating is trying to push and hurry up. Of course, good modern dating agencies are paid. The more time you spend online, the more money you pay for services. Who wants to pay more if there is an option to pay less? However, it may be a path to a failure. What happens in case you hurry up?

  1. You can choose the wrong person.
  2. You can scare the right person.
  3. Relationships can develop in a non-natural way.

- How to avoid the case? You have to be ready to spend some time to find a soulmate. Patience will help you to create your profile correctly and fill it in with the necessary information. Also, take your time when you pick the profiles you are going to communicate with. And the most important - don’t hurry up when you chat with the person. Especially, if you really like him/her.

Case 5: Bad Experience

Probably, the most frequent case is the bad experience in the past. It can be a bad case during an offline dating, some failed relationships or another person’s experience. Furthermore, sometimes there are situations we cannot influence on. For example, there can be bad site members, even on the best sites. Also, sometimes you may have disagreements with the person you really like, which is in fact a normal situation.

- How to avoid the case? Try to consider your failures as a precious experience and try to avoid the mistakes you’ve made in the past. It doesn’t matter whether it’s an online dating or offline dating there will be good and bad days we need to be ready for.

Oleg Kobets: Experienced Content Manager and Co-Founder of Best Dating Sites platform.
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