What to Do When a Guy Stops Texting You Out of Nowhere
One of the worst feelings in the world is when you’re starting to get to know someone, and they ghost you. For those of you who don’t know what ghosting means, it’s when a guy stops texting you for seemingly no reason. One day you’re having the best conversations and the next, nothing. Your first instinct might be to text until you get a reply. However, Connection Copilot suggests you stop texting if he's not answering. Why? We’ll get to that. We developed a guide to help you what to do when a guy ghosts you.
Why Did He Stop Texting You?
Before you formulate a message, you should understand why he stopped texting. One of the main reasons he stopped was because he found someone else. Relationships now go through an “unofficial talking” phase. You end up talking to see if you’re interested in one another. There’s usually not any exclusivity and it’s not uncommon for people to talk to multiple people at once. If you’re in that talking phase, he’s definitely talking to other women. He cut you off because he found one of them he clicked with. Instead of just telling you that, he disappeared.
Another reason he stopped was that he simply lost interest or never had any in the first place. Relationships can forge from nothing or just fall apart. You never know how it’s going to end up. He may not have a concrete reason why he ghosted. He may not have been interested in the first place and just gave up talking to you. Don’t fret though. If he couldn’t take the time to tell you he wasn’t interested anymore, then he most likely wasn’t worth your time anyway.
The third reason he might have ghosted you deals with life circumstances. It’s possible it’s not his fault he stopped talking to you. Life is unpredictable and bad things happen from time to time. He might have a family emergency or a major health issue. When life hits you hard, it’s easy to slip away from others. You might want to creep on his social media and see if he’s active there or wait and see if he texts you. A guy will reach out and explain what happened if this is the case.
What Can You Do?
Now that you know why he’s ghosted you, it’s time to decide what to do about it. Keep in mind that the steps we discuss are flexible and may change or not apply to you. It’s your choice where you should start.
Whatever you do, don’t blame yourself. When a guy pulls a disappearing act on you, it’s natural to feel some blame and hurt. You might overanalyze and try to find out what you did wrong. Stop yourself from these thoughts. It’s not your fault you were ghosted. It’s him for not having the maturity to tell you that he wasn’t interested. In the case of emergencies, it’s still not your fault. Life happens and it’s something neither of you could have prevented.
Once you’ve stopped the blame train, try to find out why he ghosted you. Don’t reach out right away. Look at his social media. He may have posted if something bad happened to him or if he found someone else.
Take some “me time” and recover. Regardless of the answers you find, you need time to recover before you reach out to him. Spend a week or two on yourself. When you confront someone in an emotional state, it could make you lose control. After your “me time”, you may not even care to reach out to him.
If you guys spoke for some time and you need closure, the least he can do is give you that. What you can do is check in with him. When someone just disappears, it’s natural to show concern. You don’t want to start with a confrontational tone. Instead, approach him like, “Hey, it’s been some time since I’ve heard from you. Are you okay?” He’s more inclined to give a response if he doesn’t think you’ll fly off the handle. Pushing him to answer will just make him defensive and not respond at all. He might even block you. Casually asking about him might make him feel guilty for not being honest with you.
Once you’ve reached out and you get a response. Calmly explain that he hurt you. Don’t start yelling or cursing at him. He won’t take what you said to heart and will just write it off as “this chick is crazy.” You can say something like, “I just wanted to tell you that it was hurtful when you disappeared. If you don’t want to talk any more just let me know and we can go our separate ways.” If he didn’t respond at all, you can still send a text like this. Keep in mind this should be the last text you send him if he hasn’t responded this far.
No one likes to feel ignored, especially by someone they like. You might make excuses like the text didn’t send or maybe he just forgot to respond. When you start to think like this, you tend to convince yourself to keep reaching out. Don’t do it if he’s not answering. The more texts you send, the more difficult you’re making it on yourself. Write a letter and burn it if you truly feel the need for closure.
In rare cases, he might come back, and this is why you get to ghost him back. Don’t reply. Live your life and get out there and find someone new. Unless you agreed to check in occasionally, revisit the relationship in the future, or he had a good reason, there’s no need to talk to him.
You might want to prevent ghosting from ever happening again. We all do! Unfortunately, it’s how the dating world works now. You can work on yourself and dating skills though. Seek a relationship coach for ideas on how to date in the modern world.