What's Behind Jealousy?
By Mark Tyrrell
What's behind jealousy? Some (not all) jealousy is driven by low self-esteem...
We none of us are supposed to understand exactly why someone loves us. Does the Mona Lisa painting know why it is so valuable? Of course, you may be able to appreciate attractive qualities in yourself, but consider this:
There are better looking, richer, funnier, smarter, younger people around than just about all of us, but these are qualities of a 'product'.
If he or she loves you, it will be because of an extra, indefinable quality you have that they couldn't even explain - some deep part of your humanity they connected to which transcends looks, youth, wealth, and so forth. Some of the most loved people in history have been well down the list when it comes to looks or wealth.
Over my 15 years as a therapist, I have treated thousands of people with self esteem problems, I've taught over 10,000 health professionals how to lift self esteem in others yet it still never fails to shock me just how huge an impact low self esteem can have on a life.
Poor self esteem seeps into every corner of your life, making everything harder than it should be, and sucking the pleasure from life. Whether it's relationships, your work, your social life, your emotional life, and the way you relate to yourself, poor self esteem colors everything.
Remove the Fear and Embrace Life
I believe that low self esteem blocks us from knowing who we are and what we are meant to be doing. When you are constantly worrying about what others think, trying to avoid making mistakes and full of anxiety about your own self worth, you can't possibly be in touch with the more subtle drives that steer you on your life path.
"You just have to think more positively!" Have you ever heard that? I'm guessing you have, either from others, self help books, or from yourself. The trouble is, this is like trying to make your car change direction by steering the back wheels.
What drives low self esteem, and the thoughts that go with it, is emotion. And when the emotion changes, the thoughts change.
So How Do You Change Emotions?
We know that lots of reading and thinking doesn't work, no matter how hard you try. What we need to change is old conditioned responses that are driving negative emotions in you. And that is why I use hypnosis.
When I'm training therapists, many of them don't know how to use hypnosis. But once they see how respectful, gentle and natural it is, they want to know all about it.
How you Were Hypnotized Into Low Self Esteem
The conditioning that causes negative emotions and thoughts about ourselves happened when you were younger. It could have been long term criticism from a parent, a one-off comment from a teacher at a vulnerable moment, an anxious period of your life when you didn't feel you had enough support.
The cause is really less important than the fact that any one of these experiences can lead to feelings of poor self esteem through strong focus. You learn very quickly and deeply in this state (particularly when you are a child) because it is hypnotic. Which is why hypnosis is the natural way to quickly undo that learning, so you are free to be yourself.
Low Self Esteem Is Always a Mis-Perception
If you really are as useless or terrible as you think you are, if this really is the unshakeable truth, then you don't have low self esteem. You are just being very accurate about yourself! But in my experience of working with people with low self esteem, not one of them was as terrible as they thought they were. It's as if they were wearing distorting glasses, seeing themselves as being worse than they really were.
With the 10 Steps to Solid Self Esteem program, you can cast away those glasses, and as you are grinding them under your heel you can start to see a distinction between the 'good' and 'bad' within; you can be more tolerant of the 'not so good' and inwardly encourage and nurture what is 'good'.
As you work through this in-depth program you will find you...
- Stop making sweeping and damning statements about yourself
- Start to accept sincere compliments
- Feel more comfortable being treated decently
- Get out and enjoy social situations
- Start to follow up opportunities and chase your dreams
- Stop feeling judged
- Feel happier in your 'skin'
- Feel less anxious and more relaxed generally.