10 Signs That You Need Couples Counseling
We’re pleased to say that, in recent years, there has been a greater emphasis on mental health with more effort put into helping people understand how important it is to look after, due to a bigger push to end the stigma around this topic and to open up the conversation.
Therapy and counseling are now well-regarded tools that can help you work through any issues you may be dealing with. One area of life that can hugely benefit from this is in your relationships, but there is still an element of shame or stigma attached to couples therapy.
This can make it difficult for people to know when or to even accept that they should go to counseling as a couple, but we’ve put together a list of 10 signs that can help you decide.
You can also read more here for additional tips and information on dating and relationships.
1. Lack of Physical Intimacy
For the majority of couples in which neither partner is on the asexual spectrum, physical and sexual intimacy can be an important part of your relationship.
While it’s natural for your sex life to settle down into something of a routine after months or years of being together, sudden or dramatic changes could be the sign of something more troubling.
If there is little to no romantic or sexual intimacy at all, or if you are still being physical but it feels less intimate, you may want to consider couples counseling or even sex therapy.
2. Fear of Communication
One of the most important aspects of all relationships is communication, but fearing to bring up certain subjects to avoid risking an argument can lead to a complete breakdown of communication. Counseling can therefore be a safe space in which to discuss your issues.
3. Lack of Trust
Another major relationship pillar is trust, without which you’ll find yourself in a vicious circle with your partner where you go over and over the same arguments and issues.
When you don’t trust the person you’re in a relationship with, it can be hard to think of yourself as a team or partnership which can lead to negative feelings on both sides, but couples counseling can work to help you rebuild the trust between you and your partner.
4. Feelings of Resentment
If you start to find you or your partner keeping scores in arguments, it could be a sign of resentment which is a pretty big indication that you could benefit from couple’s counseling.
This can help you resolve past issues without letting them taint future conversations.
5. Lying or Acting Secretively
Whilst everyone is entitled to their own privacy, keeping secrets in relationships could signal a lack of trust. Even worse, it could suggest that there are some less-than-honest intentions regarding a certain issue or situation, which can be a big sign of relationship trouble brewing.
6. Financial Dishonesty
Similarly to the last sign, lying about your finances in a relationship should be a red flag.
Money can be a sensitive subject but if you and your partner are not on the same page about your finances, it can lead to serious arguments down the road that even couples counseling might not be able to help you work through, again due to a lack of trust.
7. Leading Separate Lives
Whilst every relationship structure is different and there is no ‘right way’ to be a couple, if you and your partner are drifting away and leading increasingly separate lives, it could be the early signs of a breakdown in intimacy or communication within your relationship.
8. Thinking About Cheating or Adulterous Behaviour
One of the leading causes of relationship breakups and divorce is cheating. If you’re still at the stage where you’re only thinking about cheating, it’s a clear sign that you should give couples counseling a go to try and work through these issues before it’s too late.
9. Communication Breakdown
As already mentioned, a breakdown in communication could signal the end of the relationship. Couples counseling won’t necessarily be a ‘quick fix’ for your relationship, but you can try to re-open these channels of communication to save your relationship.
10. Unresolved Arguments
Not being able to resolve or move on after an argument is all to do with how effectively you are able to communicate with your partner.
This can unfortunately sometimes highlight some hard-to-hear home truths about your relationship that may point towards counseling as being the solution. Through counseling, you can work to resolve these arguments to avoid feelings of resentment developing.