Some people say “no” so easily. Those who have a tendency to please, however, automatically say “yes” to whatever somebody else wants. If you’re a “yes” person, there's no time like the present to learn a new skill.
Your goal is not to become a naysayer. Not at all. But if “no” is not in your vocabulary, then yesterday’s “yes” will be tomorrow’s regret.
We all need to create boundaries on our time (No, I don’t have the time today to do this), energy (No, I’m too exhausted to tackle this now) and space (No, shut the door, I need some privacy right now). If you neglect to actively create these boundaries, it won’t be long till you find yourself feeling overburdened and overcommitted.
Want an added incentive to say "no?" It increases the value of your “yes.” When you are at someone’s beck and call, it typically results in your being less respected, less appreciated. Whoever said life is fair?
If saying “no” is not natural for you, you’re a pleaser. You don’t like to disappoint people, hurt their feelings or be rude. Nothing wrong with that. Indeed we need a lot more of that in society. Civility and manners are important. So, if you wish to learn how to say “no,” it helps if you can to say it in a way that sits well with your personality.
Hence, stay away from the blunt “NO!” and the oppositional “NO, I won’t do it.” These types of retorts are not for you – except in unusual circumstances. Instead, focus on the polite “no.”
Here are examples of how you can be caring and courteous and still say “no.”
As I’m sure you know it’s not easy to change our patterns. Hence, if you’d love to be able to say “no,” yet the word sticks in your throat here’s how to rehearse and practice your new skill...
Remember, you don’t need to be nasty to say “no.” Indeed, you can be pleasant, polite, yet still be in charge of your priorities.
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