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When people are “crazy in love,” they have the highest listening IQ. They make excellent eye contact, are totally focused on what their partner is saying, are tuned in to the nuances of the conversation, and freely give head nods, smiles and chuckles to show they are listening.
As time passes, people become more relaxed with one another. And when they do, their listening IQ tends to descend. Direct eye contact deteriorates. People “listen” while focusing on other things. Noticing the nuances of the conversation is often nil. Non-verbal listening cues may disappear.
Some of this is to be expected. People don’t listen to each other as intensely as they do when they are “crazy in love.” If, however, your listening IQ slides dramatically, your partner will feel disregarded, disrespected and dismissed. This is serious business, as once it happens the relationship, itself, is in jeopardy.
So, what can you do to prevent your listening IQ from plummeting? Here are some ideas:
Do these ideas sound hard to implement? Yes, they can be, especially because we live in an age of quick distractions, short attention spans and instant impatience. It’s a good idea, nonetheless, to try to overcome these challenges rather than to use them as excuses.
Of course, it’s easier to listen to some people than to others, especially when a person just drones on and on. So since listening is a 2-way street, here are a few ideas for raising your speaking IQ:
It’s terribly frustrating for both partners when each one is talking, but no one is listening. What a gift you will give yourself, and your loved one, if you take the time, energy and interest to improve your listening and speaking skills.
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