Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Looking for a better life?

Trans4mind Training, our series of online, interactive video workshops, presents the most effective methods of holistic personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

The Word "NO" May Be Your Best Friend

By Linda Sapadin, Ph.D

Some people just don't know how to say "no", whereas others say "no" just as soon as the words tumble out of the speaker's mouth. If you lean more toward the former, this article is for you. It's time for you to develop the self-assurance to say "no" - to your kids, to your spouse, to your parent, to a friend, to a salesperson, to whomever.

The ability to say "no" will reap great benefits. Here are 3 of them:

  • As you increase your ability to say "no," your "yes" becomes more appreciated. Let this point really sink in. It's super important.

  • The ability to say "no" helps you make good decisions. (Isn't this what you want your kids to do - to think on their own and not just go along with the crowd?)

  • The ability to say "no" builds character. Yes, there are times when it's tough to look a loved one in the eye and disappoint him. But if you always go along with what he wants, you're not living life honestly or courageously.

Now that you agree that the word "no" may be your best friend, let's look at how to say "no"- without feeling bad or guilty. Here are 4 styles of saying "no." They are all useful at different times, in different situations and with different people.

  • If you are a pleaser, you'll probably want to limit your use of a blunt "no" (i.e. "No, I won't do it." "No, I'm not going.")

  • Typically, you'll want to choose a polite "no" (i.e. "No, but thanks for asking me." "No, great idea, but I have this deadline staring me in the face.")

  • Or an accommodating "no" (i.e. "No, I can't edit your paper, but I will show you how to use spell-check.")

  • Or a "no" with an alternative (i.e. "No, I can't drive you now, but I can do it in an hour.")

Grant yourself the freedom to use the type of "no" that best fits the situation and the request. To make this article more personal for you, reflect on a situation in which you regretted saying "no." Which type of "no" do you think would have been best to use? Write down the exact words you wish you would have used. Put them in your wallet. Look at them every once in awhile. Guaranteed, a similar situation will happen soon, only this time you'll be prepared.

Copyright © 2009: Linda Sapadin, Ph.D
Linda is a psychologist and personal coach in private practice who specializes in helping people enrich their lives, enhance their relationships and overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. For more information about her work, contact her by email or visit her website at PsychWisdom.

Would you like to have more meaningful relationships?


Click here to learn about developing your communication skills ➜

More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:
Visit the INSIDE-OUT Blog
Wallace Huey & Peter Shepherd
Imagine if - with the help of personal development - the values of the heart could be brought into our families, communities and businesses... What kind of a world would this create?
By Wallace Huey & Peter Shepherd, Trans4mind Founders

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
I think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
Copyright © 1997-2017 Trans4mind Ltd