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What Relationships Really Offer Us

By Sage

In this time of constant change, both on a planetary and individual level, I am frequently assisting clients and friends through the break up of relationships. It seems as our 3D world moves faster and faster towards 2012, our process of learning life lessons through intimate partners also speeds up. As a general reality, 30- and 40-year marriages of previous generations have given way to much shorter relationships: a few years or even a few months. Some even less.

Every breakup, regardless of its longevity, can be painful to some. Yet, despite the emotional pain (heart closing), breakups also present a powerful and important opportunity to heal lifelong wounds.

In my teachings of higher consciousness, I encourage my clients to use the experience for their own highest and greatest good. Towards that goal, I ask them, What lessons were you trying to teach yourself through this experience? This might include taking a closer look at why you were attracted to this person in the first place. Was this person everything you fully wanted in a partner in the beginning? If not, why were you willing to "settle" for less than what you truly desired? Did you leave the relationship or were you the person left behind? Either way, is this a pattern in a majority of your relationships? This would speak to the 1st Universal Fear of Abandonment/Rejection.

As we seek to answer such questions, we likely find that the realizations that hurt the most are deeply rooted in our relationships with our parents. Yes, it really does go back to our parents! (Not that our parents, or other primary caregivers, are to be blamed for what we experienced in childhood; rather, as we created, they plaid certain roles for us so we could learn our most-needed lessons.)

Mothers and fathers are our primary caregivers, our Earthly God Figures. As such, they reflect to us our own God Selves as well as our erroneous beliefs about God. Therefore, it is important to identify your perceptions about your parents. In truth, separation does not exist - meaning, we are all God - and because of that, our perceptions about God as seen through our parental perceptions are really about us.

In his book "Walking Between the Worlds," Gregg Braden outlines a wonderful exercise in which you can identify your perceptions of both your mother and father at three different stages in your life: age 0-12, 12-20 and present age. I encourage everyone to try this...

Write down both your positive and negative perceptions of your parents at each life stage. As you look at these life spans and see where you hold negative judgments about your parents, review what they mirror to you about yourself. Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Where am I presently still doing what I judge my mother or my father, female or male caregivers, to be doing?
2. Where, in the past, have I done what I am judging in the present and I haven't released the judgment on myself?
3. Where am I holding judgment that there is "right" or "wrong" to experience?
4. Which negative judgments do I deny?

Our earliest hurts in life are what present themselves in our current relationships through patterning, not the surface-level "he did this" or "she did that" events. These simply distract us from the deeper spiritual work. Once we heal perceptions of our mother and father and identify our patterns that create our illusions, we can dramatically shift our modern-day relationships. When your patterns are identified, they can simply dissolve, releasing what is holding the illusions in place.

This spiritual practice establishes the groundwork for massive healing - the kind of healing that is required to help us navigate all worldly changes ahead.