The Pros and Cons of Casual Dating After 40
Turning another aging milestone is not for the faint of heart. It's true that once you enter your 40s and are journeying out of millennial-hood and into a new generation of 'zoomers' there's a bit of nostalgia when it comes to dating as a single person. For the most part, the Generation Z age bracket essentially gives you a tad more wisdom, a few grey hairs, and definitely more pickings on whom to settle down with in your life.
So what exactly is a casual dater to do as they turn 40 years old, and are there any advantages or disadvantages to approaching this timeless age? First off, the end of your 30s isn't exactly a death sentence in the dating field. If anything, you'll discover a whole new you and a wider range of possibilities than your younger years could ever offer.
The Perks of Dating at 40 and Beyond
Here's the thing, as an older person, interests and hobbies change, a desire to partner with a long term individual becomes move selective in the law of attraction, and there is nothing more worthwhile than a touch of humility and humor when it comes to casual dating.
Let's break down the gender roles and see how they measure up to casual dating after 40. To start with, the Gen Z population has a sense of attributes in this world, because they have gone out there, lived their lives, failed at times, and have picked up the missing pieces again, I can attest to this. The 40 and overs have been through a thousand broken hearted events and have chosen to not take crap from anyone, by also knowing what they want and where they're going.
By and large, older women are a cultured population who aren't into going deep into a relationship with just anyone. We over 40 women do our homework, and we love to embrace romance, be wooed by a chivalrous man, and go the distance with another in such a manner that gives the organic course of nature something to smile about.
One common fact is that women in their 40s who continue to casual date still desire the laughter and an embrace of our childlike tendencies. All of these traits travel a long path towards love and a life well-lived. Dating a woman in her 40s requires large ounces of contemplation. And so you would want to go out on as many dates as you can because that will allow you to meet a lot of difference guys from different backgrounds. And most importantly, with different types of humor. You can read more on how you can do that as a woman in her 40s here.
For a man, the process of casual dating simply needs heaps of respect and understanding. No two men are the same, and no two men delve into the emotional realms the same as a woman. Meeting the man of your dreams translates to being prepared to respect his position and be gentle and kind to his thought process. It matters.
These are the benefits of swimming in the deep end with individuals who are interested in casually dating after 40, and yet are also willing and ready to mix it up with someone you meet online, or at some random place where it's all about timing:
No drama - younger folks have been there and done that
Simplicity - paring down your belongings to make room for another person in order to experience a simple life
The good, the bad, and the ugly - accepting all facets of change within a transforming heart
Gumption in the bedroom - more creativity, more reasons to explore new things, and more experience gathered from your younger years
Negotiation - going with the flow is fine, but compromising and talking situations out is even more appealing
Adventure - bucket lists from your childhood years can finally be embarked upon, either solo or with another
If you have the patience and the presence, a casual date--after 40--who has embraced his or her own aging transformation with oodles of integrity is no doubt one of the most entertaining relationships you’ll ever experience. Both men and women in this age bracket care about their health and love to love. Boom!
The Not-So-Great About Dating After 40
Now that I've highlighted the wonderful perks of casual dating after 40, let's take a deep dive into some cons that can outweigh the pros. There's no magic formula to what you'll need to accomplish in order to find THE ONE, however if keeping every encounter on a casual level, you'll open yourself up to more potentials who could raise some red flags. Here's a few pointers where the disadvantages are very glaring:
Conversation is shallow and uninviting
Risky business when it comes to the bedroom
Too much mention of "so, where's this going?"
Children might still be involved in the mix
Commitment issues might be a concern
A potential to meet someone really scary, especially if it's an online hookup
Your date has an unemotional heart
Any casual man or woman who is only trying to satisfy a lonely and empty space within their lives might have an empty soul, too. It's one thing to go out, have dinner and conversation, and feel good about the date. It's another to leave the date hoping something better will come along and you end up becoming a serial dater.
The negatives of dating after 40 opens all kinds of doors to types of people, living situations, whether this or that person meets your criteria, and the possible angst that accompanies every date. In hindsight, it's almost as if the trouble isn't even worth the effort, as you have to prepare almost like you're on an interview. This alone creates some stress and not-so-great energy in your body.
In a Nutshell
For all of you who are considering going on a date, and you have left your 30s behind, definitely make certain you do your homework. If you've previously been in a long-term relationship and want to keep your potential suitors at arm's length, you have to let them know from the get-go. Leading anyone on during a casual date is a big fat NO.
The flip side of the coin is you have freedom to choose, yet you must be honest with not only your date, but yourself. Having the ability to reach the age of 40 with a vim and vigor for casual dating can truly be one of the greatest elixirs of life. Get ready, get dressed, and make that call!