I attended a week-long silent retreat recently and learned a wonderful mindfulness communication skill that could benefit all couples. What I just love about this technique is the simplicity of the process. Wherever you are in your relationship, whether you’re at the beginning and experiencing romantic love, or perhaps you’ve been together a long time and the intimacy and lust has faded, this simple technique can help you start to connect deeply with yourself and your partner. Here are the steps:
Firstly, sit opposite your partner so you are looking each other directly in the eyes. (It doesn’t have to be done with your partner. You can also use this with a friend, family member or work colleague.)
Maintain eye contact as you speak.
You can both do this at the same time, but choose one person to speak and one person to listen.
The person listening will not respond while the other is speaking. But the listener will continue to track their own thoughts, feelings and sensations as they also pause, relax and open to the other.
Once you have said everything you need to say, then change roles and have your partner go through the same process as you listen.
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