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Personality Versus Money in Romance, Dating, Relationships & Marriage

Hey there, it's Taylor Snow Romance with your Digital Romance newsletter:

In today's issue, we're going to tell a guy why he doesn't "deserve" hot younger women and how to handle a guy who thinks having a bunch of money means he doesn't have to have a personality.

(Warning: This is going to get brutal)

Hank asks...
“Hey Taylor! My name is Hank. I am in my late 30's, decent looking, and make a lot of money. I believe that I deserve to date and eventually marry a younger, beautiful woman that my friends would be jealous of. I have dated many, but it seems that they are all only after money and many have cheated on me with younger men. I buy them presents and take them on fancy dates, but they never really appreciate it. A friend of mine recently introduced me to one of his coworkers. She is 33 and fairly attractive, but she's no supermodel. She seems to enjoy my company and is very eager to please me, but I never pictured myself being with an average woman. Is this what I am going to have to settle for?” —Hank

Oh, Hank. If I could I would reach through the internet and try to slap (or bludgeon) some sense into you.

Heck, I can actually FEEL the bile and disgust and anger welling up in the gullet of our thousands and thousands of female readers who are appalled at your question and are hoping like hell somebody will put you in your place.

So I guess I will:

Hank, I don't like to be the one to tell you this but unless you make some pretty major changes to the way you look at life and women when you eventually DO get married, you won't be the one who's settling. 

So, before we even go any further, I suggest that you take a quick look at this Stealth Attraction & Seduction Program which teaches you how to naturally attract and seduce women at will, and make them think it was their idea.

Because right here, right now? Well, you're kind of a douchebag. But at least you're an honest one.

Listen: I've watched enough videos and read enough profiles of corporate CEO's with wives young enough to be their daughters to know where you're coming from. You feel like making some money has transformed you into some ultra-masculine alpha male; that the number of zeroes in your bank account has metaphorically spiked your testosterone count; and that just the IDEA of snuggling up to your BIG, BLACK WALLET every night is enough to make even the most gorgeous (and haughtiest) coed get weak in the knees and fall deeply, irrevocably in love with you.

But, uh, that's not how it works.

Having money doesn't actually make you any more "attractive" (or interesting) at all.

You're still the same kind-of-old, not-particularly-good-looking guy you'd be if you were broke. Only now you've got a bit of wretched arrogance emanating off you and a giant target hovering over your head telling every pneumatic bimbo who wants to go to Tiffany's to take advantage of you.

The mistake you're making, Hank is seeing love and romance (and even sex) as a TRANSACTION. From what I can tell from your email the only thing you feel like you've got to offer a woman (and you might be right) is your money. And the only thing you seem to VALUE in a woman is how young she is, how "hot" she is and how jealous she might make your friends.

If all you're looking for are gold diggers, why are you surprised that's what you're finding? If the first words out of your mouth when you meet a girl (22 and bucksome as she is) are how rich you are then OF COURSE that's all she's going to focus on.

The reason these girls are just using you for money and "cheating" on you is that you're not actually "dating" them (that would require personality and emotions.) Instead, you're just trying to buy them the same way you do a car or that weird assortment of Bill Cosby's sweaters I just know you've got in your closet.

So here's my advice pure and simple:

  1. The 33-year-old with a great career: Don't date her. Not because she's not great (she sounds like she is - in fact, she sounds like she's too good for you) but because you're in no way mentally ready to actually date somebody as awesome as she is and you're going to be that guy who cheats on her in 6 months because she's not young or ditzy enough for you.) If she had written into me instead of you I would have told her to run for the hills.
  1. From now on only date women who are 28 or older and whose work has absolutely nothing to do with taking their clothes off.
  1. You can't even MENTION that you make "a lot of money" to a girl for at least 6 months after you start dating her. I'm not saying you have to say you're poor, but instead of talking about your money try actually having a personality and some conversations. Try dating women you actually find interesting and don't just want around as decoration. Try dating women who aren't impressed by you (you're not that impressive, seriously.) You'll be happy you did.
  1. No buying expensive presents for a girl until she's not only your girlfriend but you're actually in LOVE with her. You can buy some flowers and pick up the check at dinner sometimes, but no necklaces, no cars, none of that crap.

And as for impressing your "friends": Dude, are you 15? Grow up.

And now some quick speed round questions:

Tabitha asks...
“Taylor, I met a guy I really get along with. He's handsome. He treats me well. I really like him. But he's married. What should I do?” —Tabitha

You should find a guy who's not married. The last thing you want to do is be the third person in somebody else's marriage. And if he's willing to cheat on his wife now he'll be willing to cheat on you later. Run.

Sara asks...
“I was dating this guy for a while. He told me that we shouldn't date anymore because he didn't feel that spark. But then I seduced him and he slept with me. Does this mean we're back together? If he's not in love with me, why would he sleep with me?” —Sara

Because you're female and attractive and because you seduced him. Most men are 100% capable of having sex with a woman they don't have feelings for (or even necessarily like.)

And that's it for this week.

Best Regards,

Taylor Snow Romance

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