Romance is a language anyone can speak. Using the proper words or deeds that resonate with your partner is the most important part of communicating your love.
Romance is the language of love; however, all of us process words differently and it is important to communicate in a manner that your partner can understand and receive. "Your hair reminds me of the tail of the Marwari horse I rode as a boy in the old country," might not be a complement to a woman in the United States, but for Vanessa those words are music to her ears when coming from her husband, Ishan, who hails from India. Ishan has a good command of the English language but our customs are still quite foreign to him. Vanessa looks past his awkward phrases and only sees the love and intent behind them when Ishan expresses his admiration for her.
Many of us do not understand the love language of our mate and we try to use the language we speak to express our thoughts and emotions to one another.
For example, if your wife's love language is gifts but yours is physical touch, your wife may say, "Why do you always want to have sex? Why don't you bring me flowers?" You may be hurt with her comment because touching her is your way of expressing your love and she seems to be rejecting you.
On the other hand, she may bring you gifts to which you respond, "What's this for? It's not my birthday." Then, she is hurt that you are not appreciative of her.
Notice the ways your partner shows love and soon you will understand his or her love language. If you don't see a pattern, be brave and ask your partner, "What makes you feel loved?" or "What can I do to show you that I care for you?"
Soon you will be speaking the same language and your communication efforts will pay off with both of you being satisfied that you are loved and appreciated. Love not in the manner that you would be loved, but rather give your love in the manner most pleasing to your partner!
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