Coaching and counseling tools are not only invaluable for coaches and counsellors, but are tools we ALL can greatly benefit from when used in our relationships, parenting, business and in ANY life setting that asks for effective communication and relationship building.
Isn't life coaching different to counseling? Yes, very different, though some combine the two.
I'd like to share an easy to use, expert tip that is used by top life coaches and professional counselors. In fact it's like the cardinal rule of coaching and counseling. So use this tip in all areas of your life and watch it work its magic.
When someone is sharing or talking to you about themselves and their life, and especially if they are telling you about their problems - the cardinal rule is DON'T GIVE ADVICE.
Advice has its place but we generally tend to dive in too quickly with advice and as a result we don't really listen. Often the person we are listening to will benefit much, much more, by just being heard. A skilled coach or counselor never jumps in with advice because experience shows that this is the worst thing you can do in service to another person.
If this sounds too simple, try it! It's much harder than it looks to listen to someone talking about their problems and NOT give advice. See if you can even last 5 minutes of attentive listening without offering ideas or solutions or saying "have you tried..." or "why don't you ..."
The hard part about not giving advice is usually that we don't know what to fill the conversation with. We are driven by a need to help the person and assume that the best help is advice. But the secret that coaches and good counselors know is that by giving advice we disempower, make early false assumptions, and don't really LISTEN.
Think back to when last you were sharing with someone about your challenges. What does it feel like when the person jumps in with advice instead of listening with sincere interest to you and what you have to say?
Skilled communicators in all forms use the following tools INSTEAD of giving advice...
Support others in being all that they were born to be by learning to BE there for others.
If this teaching resonates with you and speaks to your truth... then you can also practice these exercises: