What to Do When Your Mind is Your Worst Enemy?
By Sarah Kaminski
You often hear people say: the most important relationship you can have in life is the one you have with yourself.
And, perhaps even more so than is the case with the relationships we have with others, we abuse and mismanage this one often, continuously, remorselessly.
In turn, this volatile relationship can turn ourselves – our minds – into the worst enemy we could hope to have.
In this article, we’re going to explore how you can recognize you are stuck in the same pattern and how to turn your enemy into your friend.
Criticism and its repercussions
Being able to accept your mistakes and learn from them is one thing.
Criticizing yourself for everything every day is something else entirely.
Research has shown that the more you criticize what you do and the way you do it, the less likely you are to succeed.
Think of it this way: would you ever say the things you say to yourself to someone else?
Didn’t think so.
Start treating yourself as you would a friend, and stop imposing those insane standards upon yourself, and no one else.
You are human – you make mistakes, and you are not perfect. Allow yourself to learn and grow from them, rather than throwing yourself under the bus every time.
How healthy are you?
Taking your health for granted is another self-damaging cycle you can fall prey to.
You talk yourself into eating more sugar, less veggies, skipping a gym session, or not going to the doctor to check out that cough, even though you know you should be doing the opposite.
Our minds are excellent at tricking us into thinking we can cope with something later, or not at all. When, in fact, we should be focusing on our future selves much more. Just because we feel fine now doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take care of our health.
Not only should you mind what you eat and make an effort to move more, but you can also turn to other methods of self-care, like quantum healing for example.
Because let’s face it: chances are you are going to get sick at one point or another. Doing your best to prevent that, or just to come out of it at the other end a bit easier, should be your focus, rather than lounging on the couch for an hour longer.
Great expectations
We are all guilty of expecting ourselves to do wonders.
No matter what it is – be it running a bit faster, doing better at work, or scoring a date with that special someone – we expect ourselves to succeed, every time.
Yet, when you ask the people who have succeeded, they will not tell you they were lucky, or that they are special: they will tell you they tried and failed more than you did.
Expecting yourself to be excellent at everything you do is a surefire way to make yourself feel miserable every day of your life. You can’t ever hope to not fail; that’s just the way life works.
Instead of forcing yourself to be better, teach yourself how to learn from the mistakes, and never repeat them.
How big is your ego?
Of course, there is also that voice in your head that tells you you are better than others – you are a star, the king of your kingdom, supreme ruler of your own world. Everyone else is small and insignificant compared to you.
Your ego can very easily convince you to treat others with disrespect, turning you into a very selfish and arrogant person without you ever seeing it happen.
When you do something right – give yourself the credit you deserve. But don’t delude yourself into thinking this makes you better than someone else. It just makes you different in that one aspect of living life.
Once you stop believing in a scale of good and bad, once you stop comparing yourself to others, your world will open up to a whole new set of experiences. After all, humans are social beings. We need company to thrive, but that company should not be forced to accept your misery.
Trusting others more than yourself
While we’re on the subject of company, let’s discuss how you allow others’ opinions to outweigh your own.
Of course, you should listen to advice and what others have to say about a situation in your life – but that doesn’t mean you should give others the benefit of making your decisions for you or influencing your feelings of self-worth.
People can be malicious or even inadvertently hurtful – when someone points out you’ve gained a bit of weight or are a bit sluggish today, don’t just accept this statement as gospel.
More importantly, don’t let it weigh you down.
It’s very difficult to find the right balance between trusting others and trusting yourself. The main thing to remember is that you should always have your best interest at heart – others may not.