Trans4mind Home Page

To Give and Receive

By Carolyn Kalil

Are you comfortable receiving compliments? Do you squirm or feel obligated to return the compliment? Do you easily and effortlessly give compliments? Or is it difficult for you to give them? Maybe you never think to give them or you're not in the habit of giving them?

In essence, giving and receiving are the same. You can't do one without the other. It doesn't seem to matter what the medium is. It can be giving money to charity, buying Boy Scout raffle tickets, or donating your time to your local non-profit group. In the case of compliments, it's just love and human compassion. I'll focus mostly on compliments in this article because they don't require material wealth and everyone can give them. In the bigger picture, we can all share our talents, our gifts that we brought to this world. Doing the work you love is a giving of your gifts and sets you up for receiving, either in the form of money or appreciation, gratitude or love.

In True Colors terms you might think that only Blues are good at giving compliments. They are always the ones to tell you how good you look, how they like your outfit, or the way your smile brightens your face. The Blues are the heartfelt and compassionate group that wear their heart on their sleeve. When Golds receive a compliment, they feel obligated to return one. Oranges will acknowledge a compliment and feel good from it. Greens are either embarrassed by them or ignore them.

First, when you don't acknowledge the compliment you are preventing the giver from giving. The gift wasn't received. The giver already knows at a deep level that the more he or she gives, the more they will receive. For the giver this is called selfless giving. You give freely because you want to and you expect nothing in return. The Universe keeps score, like an energy balance, or the first law of thermodynamics - "Energy is neither created or destroyed." When the time is right, you get to receive. You just don't get to pick what, when and how this will happen, but it always happens and it's always good.

Give it a try. Give away compliments for a week. They don't have to be fancy or special just...
"You look great today!"
"I like your hair"
"You have beautiful eyes"
"What a lovely shirt"

If the receiver wants to reciprocate, try gently putting your hand up as to say, "it's OK the only reply I'm expecting is 'thank you very much'." It may take a while to "train" yourself and the receivers.

How do you feel when the receiver tries to compliment you back? Do you feel cheated, like your compliment didn't mean anything, or it just wasn't received. Your intent was selfless giving. How can you receive if you can't give.

Sales people know if they give you a little gift you will feel obligated to reciprocate and give in the form of buying. They give you a $1 bottle of water and you buy a $20,000 car.

The universal law doesn't care about the equality of the media.

We all need to share our talents, our gifts that we brought to this world. When we give freely of our gifts, we feel wonderful, we feel on purpose, and we are assured of receiving. Doing the work you love sets you up for receiving, either in the form of money or appreciation, gratitude or love, or all of these. No good deed is ever left unrewarded. So the simple lesson that giving and receiving are the same, turns out to be very powerful.

Carolyn Kalil, MA, is author of the popular book "Follow Your True Colors To The Work You Love" plus two career workbooks. She has been a career counselor for 30 years. Take her free personality quiz to discover your own True Colors.
Communication & Relationships articles

Good info on many topics:
Submit your own article

Tools for Transformation

personal development
Trans4mind offers its visitors a huge range of complimentary personal development resources for self-directed education and transformation of the whole person...
HOW TO USE THE RESOURCES 
Introduction to our Tools for Transformation. We aim to open up the mind to new ideas, new challenges and new solutions - to think differently and be creative.
SEE THE SITE MAP 
Describes all the contents of Trans4mind.com.
WORDS OF WISDOM 
Here are our favorite quotes. The best quotes distill powerful wisdom into a few words and can make a real difference to our perception and understanding. Including:
Life  Purpose, Spiritual  Awareness, Success and Abundance, Wisdom from the Heart, Happiness and Wellbeing, Communication & Relationships, Motivation and Leadership, Parenting and Education, Emotional Intelligence, Transitions in Life, Social Community, Quirky Quotes, Creativity, Proverbs, Humor - and many further topics in the Wisdom from the Heart section.
INSIDE-OUT BLOG 
Articles by Peter Shepherd and Wallace Huey. Imagine if the values of the heart could be brought into our families, communities, charities, organizations and businesses... what kind of a world would this create?
TRANS4MIND PODCASTS 
Audios by Peter Shepherd, focused on key personal development topics, to help advance your personal growth.
RAISE YOUR VIBRATION 
A free meditation program to help you experience the state of unconditional love - key to lasting joy and fulfillment in your life.
THE POSITIVE APPROACH 
Become more clear about your own identity, what you want in life - your life vision - and how to manifest your full potential.
THE AFTERLIFE 
If we do actually have a soul, then where does it go after death? Near-death experiences provide convincing answers.
ONLINE BOOKS 
Check out our fascinating collection of complete books for you to read online, including Peter Shepherd’s Transforming the Mind, which created the foundation of this site back in 1997.
EBOOK DOWNLOADS 
Over 250 PDFs to freely download covering many personal development topics - and including the range of Trans4mind publications.
KNOW YOUR OWN MIND 
Free personality test based on the Eysenck Personality Questionnaire. See yourself as others may see you, in a more objective light, so you can know yourself better.
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT VIDEOS 
Watch our selection of over 400 personal development videos by top experts, offering many insights about mind, body and spirit.
AND LOTS MORE 
Our site is expansive, including loads of helpful resources. See what else we have.

Check out the menus on the top of every page too!

Hypnosis Downloads

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 
Copyright © 1997-2018 Trans4mind Ltd
Terms of Use & Privacy Policy       Email Webmaster