Ideal of Relationships
So it turns out that almost everyone in this life expects to find their happiness in a relationship. Work, hobbies, self-development, and other meanings are just additions to this basic outline of universal hopes and expectations.
And yet, no one expects scandals, jealousy, or despair while waiting for the fulfillment of dreams, big and bright love, spiritual harmony. Perhaps the upbringing, stamped values, beautiful fairytales, and films may have an effect - this ideal of happy relationships is very strongly driven into our heads.
I sometimes give an analogy, where I say that the relationship that is expected is such a Hollywood commercial cinema - a sugary fairytale with a happy ending. But in fact, in a relationship, they receive the author's European cinema with serious overtones, where it is realistically displaid, as it usually happens in real life with ordinary mortals. But in reality, about everyone has some kind of drama and pendulum, which, in the sense of its prevalence, is “normal” average statistical relations.
But even a series of failures and breakups does not prevent the blind hope from continuing to embrace - it is like Phoenix, burned and reborn again and again. People continue to believe in fairytales. They say the whole reason is in the right person you just need to find - and then happiness will come.
But as soon as the same person your happiness depends on is found, the next drama literally immediately begins to unwind. At the same time, hope does not fade away once and for all (it would be easy to get off if it happened this way) but goes through cycles of small deaths and rebirths, as if waiting for its final happy incarnation, when the anticipated dream finally comes into full force.
And in order for happiness to start, such an absurd “trifle” is needed for the partner to finally realize that they are the one and only and begin to truly love. Well, yes, just like in a fairytale.
It is this kind of enchanting awareness that a partner is expected to fall in love with. And this realization, according to all canons of hope, should happen once for happiness to be "real" and invincible until the end of time.
But even this is not enough. Such eternal love must be proved daily so that there is no doubt about its eternity! Otherwise, the next cycle of the heartbreaking drama starts.
For lovers, their own feelings may seem holy, not subject to blasphemous doubts. Therefore, the fabulous, inspiring hopes are so difficult to critically analyze - you just believe in them firmly, unconditionally, and selflessly. As if fate itself, at last, decided to reward with deserved relying happiness.
Everything begins with idealization - I'm looking for a lady, for a real princess, smart, and sexy. With its debunking, it moves dramatically to the final credits - relationships that have not become a fairy tale will not suit the idealist. And if the first stages of a relationship are passed, and the partners did not run from each other, a whole series of joint tests await them. One way or another, one does not get away from lapping, breaking one's own views and values. Therefore, it is naive to rely on a fairytale.
I do not claim at all that happiness in relationships is unrealizable. It can be said that the relationship does not have that happiness that people believe in since childhood - idealistic and fabulous. Therefore, the very nature of possible happiness deserves special attention. And the point here is not in the “right” partner or not solely in it. The real causes of both happiness and unhappiness come from one's own mind.