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How to Let Go of a Toxic Relationship
When You Still Love Them

One day your significant other, whom you love dearly, betray your trust by cheating on you. You are utterly crushed and hopeless. Your heart is bleeding and in pieces. Deep inside, you know you deserve better but for some reason, you can’t make up your mind to leave. A few days later, the person comes to you with heaps of apologies claiming to never repeat the mistake. Because you are in love, you forgive them and open your heart to them once again. Things seem to take the right direction only for your lover to err badly again. This time around, you summon enough courage and talk to someone about it. They tell you what to do and you agree with them. However, your lover apologizes again, you forgive them and the cycle continues.

Letting go of something you’ve heavily invested in is easier said than done. This is why people hold on to toxic relationships despite the screaming red alert signs. Often, the victim hangs on hoping the other person will change. This may happen for a while only for things to go from bad to worse. What’s even surprising is that the victim gets so lost in the roller coaster of emotions that they find it hard to end the cycle of toxicity. So, how can you end a toxic relationship despite being in love?

1. Realize you can’t change anyone

No matter how hard you try, you can never really change anyone. You can change your attitude, your dress code, friends, and tone of voice but you won’t get very far. The moment you realize this, you will be well on your way to freedom. The only person you are in control of is you. Don’t waste time thinking the other person will ever change. Instead, pick yourself up and walk away.

2. Find your self-worth

After being in a relationship with a toxic person for a long time, your self-worth is likely missing in action. This is why you don’t understand who you are anymore. Your love for this person has crowded your judgment, your purpose, and will. In order to leave for good, you need to find yourself again. Realize you are worth more than what you are getting from the relationship. Find out what your dreams and aspirations are. Go back in time to when you dreamt big. Establish whether the present relationship will help you get where you want to get. Realize that there’s someone better for you out there—the kind that will love you and make your life blissful.

3. Forgive yourself

Forgiveness can hold you back from being the best version of yourself. You may not know this but forgiving yourself is just as hard as forgiving others. Perhaps you wish you had walked away sooner. Maybe getting the nightmare of being married to a toxic person has cost you (or a loved one) a great deal. No matter your story, healing from a toxic relationship begins with forgiveness of oneself. Don’t dwell on the past. Let go of the baggage so you can progress with ease. After forgiving yourself, find a way to do the same for the person as well. Remember you don’t do this for them but rather for yourself.

4. Block them

Being in love makes you vulnerable. You will feel strong and inspired to move on one day only to snoop back into your ex’s IG the next day. Because you can’t predict your response towards this person after parting ways, you are better off blocking them everywhere. This will get rid of the temptation to make one last call or meet them to talk about the breakup. Once you decide to call it quits, cut them off completely and don’t look back. Sure, this will hurt for a few weeks or months but the feeling will go away eventually.

5. Take a break

Breaking away from someone you love will hurt deeply. The earlier you accept this, the better for you. Cry if you must. Talk to a friend to let the emotions out a little. Go for a vacation. Do whatever you need to but don’t jump into a new relationship yet. Take some time off and rest your mind, heart, and soul. Process the pain by focusing on yourself. Pick up lost hobbies. This way, you will rediscover yourself and know what you want in a relationship.