6 Ways to Help Your Child Feel Protected
After Your Divorce
By William S Andrews
When we are children we feel safe because we know that our parents will deal with any problems that come up.
But what if you are divorced now and raising your children on your own and it is still your job to make sure your child feels safe and security after your divorce.
Below are 6 things children need, to continue to feel secure after divorce:
A Responsible Adult to Lean On
Divorce has a tendency to make most of us go off the rails emotionally.
Your child doesn’t need to witness you arguing with your ex, crying into your cereal and making poor choices that affect the family’s security. Be an adult in spite of how close to falling apart you feel.
A Parent Who Can Provide
Children need food, new shoes and an outing to a movie periodically.
Make sure you have a steady job, one you can count on, to help provide for yourself and your child.
If you are a father, don’t quit your job in an attempt to lessen child support payments. If you’ve been a stay-at-home mom don’t make the mistake of thinking, you can live on child support alone. You will have to work! Go back to school for a degree, find a position that offers on the job training. No child needs to see Mom and Dad counting pennies and wringing their hands over money.
A Place to Call Home
Children don’t need to go to “Mom’s house or, Dad’s house.” They need to go “home.” Bird’s nest custody is a great arrangement parents use that keeps a child from having to move from the family home after divorce.
If you aren’t a fan of bird’s nesting, make sure your child has a roof over their head and a home they feel safe and secure residing in, whether they are with Mom or Dad. That means a room of their own and the ability to invite friends over. A neighborhood they feel safe in, in a top notch school district.
Proper Child Care
Since it will take both Mom and Dad working to support two households, if you have younger children you will become dependent on child care. Choose a childcare care provider that your children enjoy spending time with. A provider who takes an interest in your child and is dependable. Don’t leave your child with just anyone. That person you met a couple of days ago at the gym, not proper child care material.
Know everything there is to know about the person or center caring for your child. And pay attention to the signs your child gives off. If a child is being mistreated or, is unhappy, that will show in their behavior.
A School That Fits Your Child’s Needs
All children need an education and to advance academically. A child of divorce also needs the opportunity to develop positive new friendships, talk to great guidance counselors and interact with teachers with an understanding of the problems children of divorce may have in school. If your child is unable to continue going to the same school, make sure any change in school is one that benefits your child and their needs.
Parents Who Get Along
If you are pissed with your ex, get over it. No child will feel safe and secure after divorce if their parents can’t even look at or speak to each other. Put your children’s need for security first and your anger at your ex way, way back on the back burner.
If you aren’t able to make the choice to put your child’s need for security before your emotional issues, get into therapy, work through those issues and, grow up. No one, especially a parent, has the right to play games with a child’s needs because the parent is wrapped around the axle over a divorce. Be the best parent you can be for your child!
About the author:
William S Andrews, a personal development coach. He likes helping people cope with their problems. In this case, William has his own section on the website of writemypaperbro service. Moreover, he takes part in various conferences to improve his knowledge and develop new skills.
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