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How to Find a Third Person for the Bedroom

In recent times, there have been enough studies on threesome dating to notice clear patterns. One such pattern, gotten from the Archives of Human Behavior journal, is that among the 64% of people who have had threesome fantasies, only 13% have engaged in the act.

For the longest while, the biggest reason for that gap was the stigma surrounding three-way sex. That’s no longer the case. Non-monogamous dynamics are starting to achieve mainstream popularity, which means there’s a lot of freedom for people to seek threesomes openly.

But even with this rise in popularity, the number of threesome experiences is still fewer than you think. And that’s because finding a third person for the bedroom can be extremely difficult, especially if you’re new to the world of threesome dating.

As a monogamous couple looking to find a threesome, you must accept that you’re about to navigate a world where you have little to no experience. You may need expert guidance. Keep reading to find the most effective ways to find a third person for the bedroom.

Who is a Third Person?

A third person for the bedroom describes any third party inclined towards getting down with a couple looking for threesome. It may be to have one amazing night of fun with no strings attached, and it could be that they’re open to being in a throuple relationship.

In the world of dating and relationships, third-party individuals can be very rare to find, which is why they’re called Unicorns - in obvious reference to the mystical creature with similar rareness.

Why are Unicorns Rare?

The straightforward answer to this question is that threesome dating, despite becoming more trendy in recent years, is still less popular than other relationship arrangements. As a direct consequence, you’re more likely to find a single person looking for another single than you are to find a unicorn looking for couple.

And after finding a unicorn, the couple still has to ensure that the third person is looking for the exact type of threesome arrangement. Most couples are also unwilling to hook up with people in their immediate circles for fear of things becoming weird. This particular factor often plays an understated role in how difficult it can be to find a third person for the bedroom.

Where Can I Find a Third Person for the Bedroom?

When finding a unicorn for the bedroom, some places offer increased chances of success. We analyze the top options below:

Traditional Dating Apps

Several couples have found their third on traditional dating apps like Tinder, OkCupid, and Bumble. And you can, as well. You just have to get your approach right.

How to Find a Unicorn on Dating Apps

The most common mistake people make in this scenario is to set out as a regular single person looking for another single person. People who use this approach generally hope that after they eventually build a connection with the person, they can suggest a threesome. That is, frankly, an awful way to approach things.

Your profile must indicate from the start that you are part of a couple looking for a third. And when you’re making the first move, ensure you only approach people who’ve clearly stated their interest in meeting couples on their profiles. They’re not your potential unicorn if they don’t explicitly state that. Thinking that you can convince them later down the line often only wastes everyone’s time.

Threesome Dating Apps

Threesome dating apps such as Feeld and 3somer have risen according to bdsmxp research in popularity in recent years. And they’re arguably your best shot at finding the perfect third for a threesome. That doesn’t mean your search is guaranteed success, though. Like traditional dating apps, finding a successful match depends on several factors.

How to Find a Third Person on Threesome Apps

First, make sure you choose an app with a decent presence within your location. At this point, it’s advisable to go through a list of some of the most popular options and do background research before choosing one. These apps cater to different categories of people, and you don’t want to get started on a site that doesn’t suit your desires.

Some of these apps may come with a free trial, allowing you to check them out before making a financial commitment.

When using threesome dating sites, remember to manage your expectations. Even after matching with a potential unicorn and chatting with them, you may still face some typical online dating drawbacks, including:

  • Getting stood up when it’s finally time to meet a potential third you’ve been talking to.
  • Meeting the unicorn in real life and realizing they’re not quite the same person you met online.
  • You and your partner not being able to hit it off with the third party after finally meeting face-to-face.

It’s impossible to predict if your search will end with any of the above, so your best bet is to go in, be yourself, and see how things go.

Nightlife Spots

In a world where online dating has become the norm, it’s normal to question whether meeting a date the old-fashioned way still works. Well, it does. If you’re up for it, you and your partner could visit exciting spots where you’re likely to meet like-minded people. Examples of these settings include but are not limited to raves, concerts, and - of course - bars.

When trying to find a unicorn in this manner, remember to be respectful and sensitive. Don’t assume that everyone you meet is open to non-monogamous sexual arrangements simply based on how they look or talk.

Introduce yourself and your partner, initiate a friendly conversation, and see how things play out. If you notice any signs that the person’s uncomfortable mingling with you and your partner, then that’s your cue to leave them alone.

Remember That It Won’t Necessarily Be Straightforward

Meeting a potential third with any of these methods can turn out to be a long and frustrating process. But finding the perfect third person for the bedroom makes it all worth it at the end of the day.

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