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Where to Find Your Beloved

By Alan Cohen

February is one of my favorite months, since this month includes Valentine's Day, which I consider to be one of the holiest holidays. In a world that is aching, even starving for love, any opportunity we take to find more love has to bless our life in a huge way.

Perhaps you have a lover or perhaps you do not. This Valentine's Day I invite you to consider to take life as your lover. This month let it matter less whether or not you have a real person to hold in your arms, and let it matter more that life is holding you in its arms.

One of the first questions I ask participants in my Mastery Training to consider is: Are you letting life love you? It's a very profound question if you think about it. While many people feel unloved and believe they have to go out and find someone to prove they are loveable, they rarely succeed because they do not recognize that the love they seek is already given, and available to them right where they stand. If you do not recognize your lovability, no action you take will gain it for you. Yet fall in love with yourself, and you will suddenly have lots of competition for the slot.

D.H. Lawrence nobly noted, "Those who go searching for love only find their own lovelessness. But the loveless never find love; only the loving find love, and they never have to search for it."

Are you a love seeker or a love finder? The funny thing about seeking is that it sometimes leads to finding, but often leads to more seeking. The funny thing about finding is that it usually leads to more finding. Find love within you, and you will find it around you.

Some of the great spiritual masters were love-ecstatics. The immortal poets Rumi, Hafiz, and Kabir related to God as the great Beloved, and walked the world practically drunk with the experience of finding the Beloved in everyone and everything they met. Can you imagine being head-over-heels in love throughout every day?

St. John of the Cross saw it thus: "Take God for your spouse and friend and walk with Him continually, and... you will learn to love, and the things you must do will work out prosperously for you."

We are all learning to love. Love may be the only lesson we were born to master and savor. This month, following Valentine's Day, would be fabulous opportunity to practice it. The wonderful thing about true love is that it does not require anyone else's presence or permission to give it and enjoy it. Then, holding yourself in your arms, you become — and have — the world's greatest lover.

From Alan Cohen's monthly newsletter, Insights for Richer Living. Alan is the author of 22 popular inspirational books and CDs, including the best-selling "The Dragon Doesn't Live Here Anymore," the award-winning "A Deep Breath of Life," and the classic "Are You as Happy as Your Dog?"
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