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Living Single, After Divorce

By Elliot Caleira

When two people fall in love, it can be a blissful experience. In the event that this is a consistent experience over time between two people whom share mutual feelings towards each other, it can develop into a life-long partnership which is usually honored by holy matrimony. When a couple is considering uniting and becoming one through the union of holy matrimony, divorce is usually something that is never considered. Although divorce is usually never taken into consideration until things have gone beyond the point of reconcile for a couple, it can become a reality if disagreements start to outweigh agreements and communication is at an all time low and these are just a few examples of why relationships breakdown.

With the reality of divorce being a very real option among couples who have not been able to compromise and work out their differences, there are many factors that play a key role in being able to split and remain amicable with an ex-spouse. One of the main factors would be for the well-being of the children involved and who will be greatly affected by the divorce. Being fair in what is requested is the best path for least resistance when it comes to dealing with an ex-spouse. Weighing out the situation on a whole and what led up to the divorce can help keep each party grounded in what has now resulted in them having to part ways.

For example, if the cause of divorce is infidelity, which is more than probable cause for separation, then the unfaithful spouse who is responsible for the failure of the marriage should be responsible for things such as spousal support for however long is seen fit. On the other hand, if a spouse decide that they do not want to be a part of the union anymore because of personal reasons such as lack of love or vibrancy in the marriage, the spouse who is being abandoned in the marriage should not be required to support the life that the other has willfully chosen.

Whether a spouse has been found to be unfaithful or the spark no longer exist within the marriage, divorce is never easy on either party and both can wind up feeling as though they failed in keeping the commitment. Moreover, to some degree this can be considered as true; however, moving on is sometimes the only option and the best option for both people involved. When it comes to the legal fees associated with divorce it can become very expensive. Although it can be very expensive, it can sometimes be worth it and we see this by the court reports. Actually, due to Hawaii court reporters, we know that this state has a lower divorce rate than most at 9.5% per year.

In the long run, compromise will help each party part ways with less emotional trauma than necessary. Anything that one of the spouses may feel entitled to after the split they should be forthright about it without making the other person feel bullied or pressured about the situation at hand. If for whatever reason the two people feel as though they cannot come to a reasonable compromise that is in the best interest of them both, a mediator should be brought in the help persuade the situation into a civil one. Divorce in itself is hard enough therefore keeping sight of the fact that the individual that will soon become an ex-spouse is someone that at one point in time was truly adored within the marriage. Understand that it is okay to move on and still be respectful and considerate of the other person involved. Taking this attitude will help the divorcing process go a lot smoother than the constant disagreements that can arise when a person is hurt and feeling emotional pain.

In the end, facing a situation such as divorce head on is the best option. Remaining positive and truthful throughout the process will help in sorting out what should be designated to whom. Be open and communicate about what is needed to maintain a lifestyle that is suitable and be willing to adapt to a new life style as single instead of married. If all of these small tips are taken into consideration, it could mean all the difference in a civil divorce or a nasty one.

Elliot Caleira is a freelance writer in the self-mastery and health and wellness spaces. When he's not writing you'll find him cooking or teaching Portuguese classes. More articles by Elliot.
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