Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~

Inspiring Quotes of the Week + super bonuses!


A Crucial Marriage Saving Tip

By Larry Bilotta

Do you find that things would just be so much easier if your spouse would do things your way? Most of the time, this just isn't the case. So you married your complete opposite, your relationship is stressful, and the two of you can't even agree on what to have for dinner. Does this mean that for the rest of your life, you are subject to the painful battle of fighting over "your way vs. his/her way" unless one of you gives in? No! There is no need to argue over "who does what which way." And most importantly, neither of you need to change who you are.

You're about to learn the single most important marriage saving tip that can drastically lower your stress with your spouse. If you understand what you and your spouse value in life, you can cut your relationship stress in half! (Like I did with my wife! It's true. I developed this marriage saving tip after using it to transform my own marriage. My 32 year marriage is proof that this marriage saving tip can work for your marriage!) Okay, let's get started...

The first thing you need to do is talk with your spouse about the things you passionately believe in - or feel strongly against. You can start by discussing the little things in life that bug you (and no, I'm NOT talking about your spouse!) Let me give you an example... My wife absolutely HATES gum chewing. Now I'm not talking about people who silently chew their gum with their mouths closed, I'm talking about people who, when they pop a piece of gum in their mouth, everyone knows it.

They pop their gum, smack and chew with their mouths wide open. Yes, I know it sounds trivial, but it absolutely drives her nuts. Now, if I didn't know WHY this little pet peeve of hers drives her "up the wall," I would simply think she's crazy. I might even start becoming annoyed and aggravated whenever she starts to verbally attack the nearest "irritating gum chewer." Now here's the part of this marriage saving tip that most people are not aware of... every one of your pet peeves, habits or beliefs are created by a memory or event from the past. Take my wife for example. The reason she despises people who pop and crack their gum is because her mother would do it without any regard for her feelings throughout her entire childhood. My wife hated it then and she still hates gum chewing today. It simply brings back too many painful memories. To her, a gum chewer might as well be scratching nails on a chalkboard or screeching a fork against a plate.

The main idea you should walk away with from this marriage saving tip is that you need to discuss with your spouse WHY you do things a certain way, WHY you hate certain things and WHY you love other things. Be sure to talk about the "problem areas" in your marriage. That is the point of this discussion after all. Give your spouse your perspective on "hot topics" in your marriage which could be anything from punctuality, family values, religion, eating habits or even personal privacy. Ask your spouse questions and have them do the same. Ask questions like:

  1. "Honey, when you were young, did your mother or father have a problem being on time?"

  2. "What happened in your childhood that makes you hate clutter and messes so much?"
WARNING: Don't make this sound like an accusation! If you do, your positive discussion will be over! When you ask your spouse these questions, s/he will probably struggle for words or not come up with an immediate explanation for WHY he or she does these things. And that's okay. Try to jog his/her memory by recalling your own memories about this subject. For example:

"The reason I __ (fill in the blank) is because my parents __ (fill in the blank) when I was a child?"

Remember: you and your spouse were shown how to live by your parents or guardians. They shaped most of what you value and believe in today. The point of this discussion is to understand WHY the two of you disagree on any given topic. This will help the two of you accept each other because you'll no longer feel threatened by your very different values in life.

So there you have it. Use this marriage saving tip to get to the source of your problems instead of focusing on the "little issues" (like gum chewing). If you don't know which values are causing conflict in your marriage, you'll never be able to truly resolve your disagreements.

When I finally understood WHY my wife's values were so different from my own, the stress in my marriage was drastically reduced. I know you'll find the same to be true when you put this marriage saving tip to use in your own marriage.

If you don't know how to recognize the warning signs that lead to divorce, before you know it, your marriage could be over. Get your free Special Report 'The Secret Path to Divorce' right now.

More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

comment

Looking for a better life?

Trans4mind Training is our series of online, interactive video workshops. We present the most effective methods of holistic personal development, combined with support from expert life coaches.
The human heart made visible.

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 
Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
I think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd
F
R
E
E

H
E
L
P