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The Only Things You Need to Be Selfish About
in a Relationship

Reema Arora

By Reema Arora

Being selfless in a relationship is an outdated concept. There is nothing wrong with being selfish when you are in a relationship. Whether it's your feelings, self-respect or personal desires, you need to first think about yourself before anyone else. It is true that every relationship should be about giving and taking, but the balance can still be maintained by being selfish at times. Some people believe that choosing yourself is selfish and putting others' wishes before your own will make you a better person. But that’s not true and is impractical. It’s completely fine because it means that you will focus on your goals and dreams and try to achieve them. When you make yourself a priority, you will learn to value others in your life. The secret to a healthy relationship is that each partner is given freedom and space to do their own thing. Here are a few things you need to be selfish about when it comes to your relationship.

Your Goals and Dreams

Just because you are in a relationship, you don't need to have the same dreams or goals. All your life, you have been working towards achieving your goals. Don’t throw all of that away just because of your partner. You need to remain true to the essence of who you are deep down and what you want to do with your life. You can’t give up your goals and dreams just because you share your life with someone. It’s time to stop hiding behind the goals and wishes of everyone else around you and choose yourself first. Value yourself and let your true self shine.

Your Faith

You can’t expect your partner to share the same faith and beliefs as you. It is possible that your partner might be an atheist. In such cases, it is important to acknowledge and respect his beliefs. Faith is a sensitive topic and something that you have grown up with. It is something that is private to every individual. So, never let anyone convince you to do the opposite because it will only aggravate your emotions and disrupt the relationship.

Be Your True Self

The most important thing about being in a relationship is not to lose your identity. Relationships will come and go, but the genuine you is what you should see when you stand in front of the mirror. If you let titles, possessions or relationships take over, you will end up hiding your true self beneath all those layers. You need to be selfish and choose to be the person you were born to be – the one you were before life influenced you. Choosing yourself does not make you conceited; it only shows that you live life by exploring things that genuinely interest you. Nothing can make you truly happy but yourself.

Make Your Decisions

When you choose yourself as a priority, it means that you will be able to make choices that help you grow as an individual. Every decision you make should be conducive to the health of your body, mind, and soul. Never let someone else make your decisions as long as your mental state is stable because it is less likely that you will be happy with the choice that has been made. It helps you avoid situations that can erode your mental health and emotional well-being. If you leave the decision in your partner's hands, and if things go wrong, you will blame your partner, and things can get messy.

Your Social Life

Before meeting your significant other, you surely had your friends circle and social life. You can’t just abandon that because you have a new life now. You might like partying with your friends, hanging out at the mall or attending hi-teas. It’s completely fine if your spouse does not enjoy the same things. You don’t need to be with him 24/7. Having different social lives will give you both space and time to do your own thing.

The secret to a happy and healthy relationship is to be selfish. In a way, you are cherishing each other just the way you are. When you think about yourself, you also try not to change the other person, and this is something crucial for any relationship. Often, people lose themselves in a relationship and become a completely different person. To avoid that, always choose yourself first.

About the author:
Reema Arora is a certified professional in Fashion Design and Styling. With an expertise in beauty, makeup, and hairstyles, she finds writing to be an ideal platform to connect with readers. She is a regular contributor to, and her articles are what most girls in love with makeup and hairstyles and self-care would swoon over.
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