The Veil of Secrecy Destroying Lives and Nations
Being a Child Abuse Victim, I know first-hand the effects it has had on me and even till this day it still influences me, but not as severe. I have now developed a 5-step program that I was taught during my 13 years of intensive therapy to follow that were useful for me and the people that I help with my mentoring course.
I will share them with you now so that you can be unstuck from a Victim mentality and to start living with a Survivor mindset.
Step 1. Accepting it wasn’t your fault.
We know that statistically you got abused by a close friend, family member or neighbour. They exploited your innocence and friendliness. This was not okay, and we wish that everyone that abused someone went to jail but they don’t. Statistics show that only 3% of abusers are successfully prosecuted. We can only accept that it wasn’t your fault, and it is more of a reflection of their own upbringing more than anything. Just because you let them doesn’t mean that you wanted it to happen. They groomed you over time and that is why it happened.
Step 2. Going through the emotions that come with grief.
We know that there 5 stages of grief - they are:
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance
And with them also comes feelings of:
- Violation
- Anger
- Hurt
- Denial
- Shame
- Disgust/Dirty Lack of Trust
- Confusion
- Unloved
- Self-Hate
- Sad Bitter
- Suicidal
Know that these are all normal responses to ourselves to feel this way, but it doesn’t define you as a person. In my course we get hold of these strong holds and show them for the lie that they are. You are beautiful, loved, and precious, even though you don’t feel that way and I will help you realise that in a supportive environment.
Step 3. Knowing you are not alone.
My supportive group helps you be who you are destined to be before you went through all this abuse. My group of trained experts help and guide you through this season of your life and other seasons as well if you want. The choice is yours.
Step 4. Accepting you are a good person.
In our course we go through and let you acknowledge the good things about yourself. An example is we get you to write down 3 good things about you and three good things that people have said about you.
Step 5. Accepting this doesn’t define you
That’s right you read that right, it doesn’t define you as a person, it was just a season you went through, and it can be a very sad season and really confusing one, but it was just a season. Better things are coming your way.
Have you been abused by a family member, friend, or neighbour? If yes, please read on to see if we can help you.
Do you feel any of the following emotions?
- Guilt
- Shame
- Self Hate
- Dirty
- Unloved
Could any of these relate to what's happened to you?
- Violation
- Anger
- Hurt
- Denial
- Shame
- Disgust/Dirty
- Lack of Trust
- Confusion
- Unloved
- Self-hate
- Sad Bitter
- Suicidal
Look yourself honestly in the mirror and find 5 good points about yourself.
Then find three close and trusted friends and see if they can find 5 good points about you. Write down the lists. Compare the lists. Compile a combined list.