7 Signs of Bad Parenting and How to Fix It
By Lucy Taylor
We all love our children to pieces. But being a parent is a tough gig. You have to balance love and affection with rules and boundaries. And you often have to balance a busy working life with family life too. We do all of this with the worrying knowledge that our actions can have a profound effect upon our offspring.
If your toddler, child or teenager is behaving badly or they struggle in certain situations, your parenting style could be to blame. Here are seven signs of bad parenting and what you can do to fix it:
- Your Child Suffers from Low Self Esteem
Every child should have a certain level of confidence in who they are and the things that they can do. If your child suffers from low self-esteem it may be that you don’t lavish enough praise upon her at home. Take time to congratulate her on good grades, on how she behaves with her friends and how she behaves at home. It will all help to build her confidence.
- Your Child is Arrogant and Demanding
Love for your child is a powerful thing. However, if you overly pamper your child, you could end up with them being arrogant and demanding. Encourage your child to take care of themselves sometimes. They can make their own drinks, make their own beds and have a little responsibility around the house.
- Your Child is Always Tired
Children and teenagers need more sleep than the average adult. Suffering from sleep deprivation, your child will find it more difficult to concentrate at school and to moderate their emotions. It can be the root of many bad behaviours. Impose a bedtime for your child, whatever their age, and insist on no screens after a specified time.
- Your Child Regularly Lies
A child who regularly lies may have been punished harshly in the past when they told the truth. When your child owns up to something, try to moderate your punishment. Yes, they’ve done something wrong. But they’ve also had the guts to tell you about it. There needs to be some reward for their truth-telling.
- You Don’t Feel Your Child Gives you Respect
If you have a child who constantly backchats and disregards your feelings, consider your behaviour in relation to your child. Kids learn by example. Do you give your child chance to speak and really listen to what he has to say? Do you speak with a respectful tone and try to offer a compromise in situations where one is possible? Treat your child with respect and you’re much more likely to get it in return.
- Your Teenager is Rebellious
Every teenager likes to test the boundaries as they approach adulthood. But as a parent, you have an important role to play in managing their rebelliousness. You need to allow your child a certain amount of freedom so they can become self-reliant and learn to make their own decisions. However, parental guidance is still really important at this age. You need to maintain open communication so your teenager feels they can talk to you about anything. And you also need to maintain rules and boundaries to show your teenager that you love and care for them.
- Your Child Gets in Trouble With the Law
Getting a knock on the door or a phone call from the police has to be up there as one of a parent’s worst fears. If your child gets into trouble with the law and gets arrested, the first thing you need to do is call a lawyer. However, to avoid this problem, you need to raise a confident child who can resist peer pressure and know right from wrong.
Raising a child is one of the most difficult jobs out there. If you feel you’re going wrong, get some support. There are plenty of organisations out there who can help.