5 Truths You Should Hear When You
Feel Like A Failure as a Parent
By Indy Summers
Despite the many rewards of parenting, the job can sometimes be tough. There are many times that parents will be unsure if they are handling a particular subject correctly and may even begin to doubt their own ability as parents. To be fair, besides the nuggets of wisdom picked up from parents and grandparents, parenting is a tough occupation that is learned through experience. The following words of wisdom should be remembered by anyone stressed by feelings of failure as a parent.
Your Weaknesses Are Not Your Identity
You should silence the inner voice that suggests you are a failure when you experience a rough day as a parent. One bad day does not equate to failure as a parent and in all likelihood, tomorrow will be better. So if you have ever felt the need to hide in the bathroom from the stress of parenthood, just remember that any mistakes you have made as a parent does not completely define your merit as a parent or human being.
Your Kids Mistakes Aren’t Your Fault
There will be rough patches between you and your children from time to time. However, it is the totality of their childhood experiences that will shape children into who they will be as adults. It’s not uncommon for parents to be judged for their child's mistakes. This concept is especially true for parents dealing with a troubled teen. If this sounds familiar to you know that your teens poor choices don’t mean you’re a failure as a parent. Some teens need to make mistakes in order to become better and all you can do is be a support system for them. If you find yourself stressed out by rough time with a child, remember parenting is a marathon and not a sprint.
Failure Is An Opportunity For Redemption
The ability to learn from your mistakes as a parent and handle similar challenges better the next time will build your confidence as a parent and provide your child with an example of strength and humility. A day will come in the future when you will be proud to watch your children learn from their own mistakes and become better people.
You should remember your children will always imitate the things they see you do. Demonstrate to them with your actions that they do not have to be perfect but they should be willing to learn from the mistakes they make.
The Stress You Feel Is Real
You should never beat yourself up when you feel overwhelmed by the stress of parenthood. You should understand parenting is difficult whether you have one child or can fill a minivan with the children you have.
It is also important not to compare your specific situation to those of other parents. When you do not impose these measuring sticks on yourself, the voice of doubt will not creep into your head as often. Parents often sacrifice much of their dreams and goals to take part in the process of raising children. When the moments feel tough to you, give yourself permission to feel as you feel.
A little Clutter Is Fine
Many parents get a little frustrated with the clutter in their homes. They sometimes envision the ultra clean homes of the other parents on the block. You should know the picture in your head probably does not exist.
It is understandable that when the majority of your efforts and concern is raising your children, you may not tidy up the home or pick up in the yard as much as you did before having children. Do not hate yourself for this. There will be days that a toy or two is on the living room floor or a stray sock in dangling from the balcony. You may be too tired to deal with these things at a particular moment but they will be there once you recoup your strength.
There are many highs and lows associated with being a parent. There are times when we doubt our own ability to properly parent our children. However, when the seeds of doubt begin to creep into your head, the five truths mentioned above is all that is needed to shake you out of the slump.