Trans4mind Home Page

Raising Children Without Bias

By Deb Capone

Don Imus' ridiculous remarks directed at the Rutgers University women's basketball team, coupled with the Korean government's concern that the horrific actions of a Korean-American at Virginia Tech would spark backlash against Koreans, has put racism on the front line. These unfortunate events forced us all to face the state of racism and its repercussions for our children. We are now forced to:

  • Relinquish the fantasy that racism doesn't exist or it's 'better' than it used to be. Recognize that racism has serious consequences.
  • Admit that if we can't raise our children without biases and racist attitudes then we are limiting their potential.

This really is good news. Now we can start unlearning our bad habits of racism and bias. Racism is a habit. It's something we learned. And what can be learned can also be unlearned. It takes time, effort and commitment. But, it is do-able.

Experts believe that it takes as long as 30 days to break a simple habit like the order your put your shoes on in the morning. So unlearning your racism habits may take some work. Don't expect overnight results. Take things step-by-step and day-by-day, starting now.

Here's four steps to unlearning racism and raising confident children in the 21st Century:

Step 1: Take the power out of racism. Talk about it openly.
We actually talk about race all the time, but we do it in code. Much of our discussions about everyday life-politics, education, welfare, taxes and even movies, entertainers, sports and neighborhood happenings have racial underpinnings. Racism, like any 'ism' gets more power when we don't talk about it openly. First, admit that racism exists in today's society as recent events clearly demonstrate. Then we can make the issue less scary by getting racism out of its closet and talking about it openly.

Step 2: Decode the 'codes' of racism
To take the emotion and power out of racism, we have to understand what we are really saying. Consider the words terrorist and illegal alien as an example of 'code words'.

Has terrorist become a 'code' word for people of Arab decent, that hides anti-Arab sentiments?

Illegal aliens simply don't exist. There are people living in the United States that don't have the proper documentation to enter the US. But they themselves are not illegal. How can people be illegal? Today's illegal aliens are likely to be from Mexico which begs the question of what are we truly worried about-the legal or racial implications of our immigration policies? It wouldn't be the first time that racialist sentiments have been masked in legalities.

Step 3: Focus on the end result.
Racism can only exist where there is ignorance and fear. Examine your values and beliefs when you consider those who are different from you. Then educate yourself where need be and demonstrate your willingness to learn and explore different cultures, races and religions to your children.

If you can replace your biases and prejudices with facts, your children will garner real intercultural competence. And, only then will they be armed to face the 21st century with confidence. You will be arming them with one of the most important tools for their success in the world.

Step 4: Don't just stand there - do something.
If you hear a racist joke, ask the jokester to 'cease and desist'. If a high profile person crosses the line, then write a letter or make a phone call. Make a commitment to examine your own 'isms' and stop them or your children's sake if not your own.

Admit that you can be wrong about people and live the possibility that you can make the world more tolerant, more accepting, and more respectful. Give your children a major key to success-the focus on humankind and not just "our own kind."

No one is born with racism. It is a learned set of beliefs and values, which believe it or not can be unlearned. It is up to all of us to make sure that our children don't become a poster child for racism when they inherit the world.

Deb Capone, President and CEO of 'As Simple As That,' and the author of three award-winning children's books, helps parents and educators break the cycle of bias and bullying. For more information and articles on overcoming bias and creating a cultural diverse future for our children, check out Deb's new blog.
More Child Development & Parenting articles

Good info on many topics:
Submit your own article

Tools for Transformation

personal development
Trans4mind offers its visitors a huge range of complimentary personal development resources for self-directed education and transformation of the whole person...
Introduction to our Tools for Transformation. We aim to open up the mind to new ideas, new challenges and new solutions - to think differently and be creative.
Describes all the contents of
Here are our favorite quotes. The best quotes distill powerful wisdom into a few words and can make a real difference to our perception and understanding. Including:
Life  Purpose, Spiritual  Awareness, Success and Abundance, Wisdom from the Heart, Happiness and Wellbeing, Communication & Relationships, Motivation and Leadership, Parenting and Education, Emotional Intelligence, Transitions in Life, Social Community, Quirky Quotes, Creativity, Proverbs, Humor - and many further topics in the Wisdom from the Heart section.
Articles by Peter Shepherd and Wallace Huey. Imagine if the values of the heart could be brought into our families, communities, charities, organizations and businesses... what kind of a world would this create?
Audios by Peter Shepherd, focused on key personal development topics, to help advance your personal growth.
A free meditation program to help you experience the state of unconditional love - key to lasting joy and fulfillment in your life.
Become more clear about your own identity, what you want in life - your life vision - and how to manifest your full potential.
If we do actually have a soul, then where does it go after death? Near-death experiences provide convincing answers.
Check out our fascinating collection of complete books for you to read online, including Peter Shepherd’s Transforming the Mind, which created the foundation of this site back in 1997.
Over 250 PDFs to freely download covering many personal development topics - and including the range of Trans4mind publications.
Free personality test based on the Eysenck Personality Questionnaire. See yourself as others may see you, in a more objective light, so you can know yourself better.
Watch our selection of over 400 personal development videos by top experts, offering many insights about mind, body and spirit.
Our site is expansive, including loads of helpful resources. See what else we have.

Check out the menus on the top of every page too!

Trans4mind Companies


Today companies need to find new and innovative ways to prosper in a fast-changing business world. Uniquely based on empowering personal development, supported by personal trainers, Trans4mind Training's online interactive video workshops meet this need without any disruption to your existing operations

Learn more & get started...

Unlocking Mental Wealth. Activating Self-Leadership
Hypnosis Downloads

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Copyright © 1997-2018 Trans4mind Ltd
Terms of Use & Privacy Policy       Email Webmaster