Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Empower Yourself!

By Peter Shepherd

Empowerment means being at cause: that is, we determine the direction of our lives. We are responsible for our existence. We are in control. When we are responsible for something, it is we who have to explain why it is, as it is. After all, we have exercised our power to change and create - and to begin and to end.

So we are the person responsible for what is good and what is bad in our life situation. Here lies the crux. With responsibility comes the possibility of blame and then shame. If all goes well, we are praised - but if not, we are the one who may be blamed. It is then "our fault" and we may feel shame. As our failures and wrong-doings increase, so does our pain and guilt and shame. Is it surprising that many have relinquished their power, given up control and responsibility, in many aspects of their lives - to hide safely at effect rather than express themselves at cause? In truth, you are the creator of your own life. Yet you can pretend to be at effect: to be disempowered.

If we yield our power of choice we no longer control our own life. Someone else controls it for us. We no longer have the power to change our situation for the better - but also we no longer can be blamed. We sometimes invest a lot in being at effect in this way and don't give it up easily. It can assuage our guilt and hide our true failures. It's a safe solution to our problems.

Unfortunately it's not the best solution. By being a victim, we try to escape the burden of responsibility but then have to accept the pain of losing our freedom. We refuse to choose, and have others choose for us. We refuse to control and allow others to control us. We do not accept our power, and give it to others. We do such a good job at this that we believe we have no real say in our lives. Our pain is their responsibility. It is their fault. Yet by doing this we deprive ourselves of so much pleasure and fun in life.

To reverse this situation it is necessary to recognize we are responsible for our choices that bring about our present and future conditions - how we are already causing our situation. Then we are empowered and we can choose again!

Why did we give our power away? The fact is that we never did give it away. We are always making choices. Even choosing not to choose. We always choose what we interpret to be the best option that we have available. We are always at cause.

When we choose to (pretend to) be effect, it is because the problems of responsibility appear greater than all the trouble that comes from being at effect. For example, being beaten by a drunken husband seems preferable to the alternatives of remedying his behavior or starting a new independent life.

There must be something of value that the person is finding in the current arrangement of being at effect. Maybe

  • having somebody tell you what to do provides safety;
  • being on drugs provides peace;
  • having somebody scream at you every day helps you to feel something;
  • being with an alcoholic ensures uncritical company.

We really wouldn't be in that sort of situation unless the apparent advantages outweighed the drawbacks.

Also, the idea of being responsible for our actions, our feelings and our beliefs may be uncomfortable. Our interpretation of past negative experiences may maintain it is dangerous to recover our own ability to choose. Most likely we have tried things in the past that failed and led to us feeling upset, so now we refuse to take that kind of responsibility, to express our true selves.

Where we go wrong is in the interpretation. What seems to be safe is not necessarily in our best interest. If I don't try for promotion, I won't be disappointed by rejection - but I'll have to continue at the same old job that is not fulfilling any more. So the fear of rejection is more powerful in this case than our desire for a better job. We pick the apparently safe position of being effect. Sadly, we have chosen misery rather than challenge and delight!

You can reclaim your power if you can recognize that you are the cause of your life. That you have made choices and continue to live by them, and therefore you have the power to choose again and create the world you want. To do this you need to become conscious of your fears and the way they influence your choices. Fear is a strong and painful emotion so we try to suppress it from our consciousness, but it continues to act subconsciously, limiting our choices within the safe boundaries that do not trigger the fear.

How can I accept a fear and transcend it? I think a good way is to realize that fear is a two-sided coin. The other side of the coin is love, the positive dynamic in our life for truth and freedom. Love is about acceptance, fear is about resistance. Our fears can help us to become aware of the expression of love that may be missing in our life - because our choices are being hidden alongside our fears under the floorboards of our consciousness.

So begin to accept your fears instead of hiding them away, recognize that each fear is based on a judgment that just isn't necessary, and delight as the flower of your true self begins to bloom.

Peter Shepherd is the founder and producer of the Trans4mind personal development website, producer of the Mind Development website, and author of 'Daring to be Yourself.' He edits and publishes the Inspiring Quotes of the Week and with a team of colleagues has recently launched the amazing Trans4mind Personal Development Training. Get in touch with Peter here.

Out of the box
More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

Good info on many topics:

Want to renew your life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development...
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Consultation...

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Hypnosis is the key to unlocking your creativity, focusing your energy and understanding yourself

Hypnosis has a long history of helping human beings be the very best they can be. It can be used to control anything controlled by the unconscious mind - pain, blood pressure, fear, confidence levels, mood, sex drive... the list goes on:

  1. You'll become highly productive without getting stressed
  2. Tap into your creative energies instantly
  3. Really understand yourself and others
  4. You'll learn how to stay calm in high pressure or uncomfortable situations
  5. Develop laser-like levels of focus and concentration

Lean more... Uncommon Hypnosis Course

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
And here's a fantastic resource for self-education...

The World of Inspiration eLibrary

World of Inspiration
A treasure trove of personal development wisdom

Step inside. Just like a real library, there are thousands of quality eBooks presented on three "floors" and in different "rooms." To purchase your $15 Lifetime Membership to the World of Inspiration eLibrary, click the following button:

Payment is made through our secure transaction agent, PayPal.
The transaction is in the language and currency of your choice.
"I want to just say 'WOW!' This collection is probably the best money I ever spent! I've already received many times over in personal enrichment after just 9 days. I've had a past metaphysical background, but even newcomers to this material will really benefit. Thanks again." ~ J.S. (Pennsylvania, USA)
"The collection is everything which you promised. And more! A superb contribution to the good of the world. Many thanks indeed." ~ R.P. (Georgia, USA)
"Just a short note of thanks for the library. I've only had membership for several days now but I already feel this is perhaps the most interesting compilation I have yet seen. Worth far more than the price of admission. The browser linked structure works well and makes it easy to manage such a large storehouse of information. It is rarely that I find something I like as much as this or that I feel strongly enough to write a note like this." ~ P.W. (Minnesota, USA)
Copyright © 1997-2017 Trans4mind Ltd