I recently found myself on my website rereading some of my articles. Why? I needed advice. That's how desperate I was! I experiencing a peculiar kind of loss - the loss of beliefs that I perceived to be so rock solid that I hardly paid much attention to them anymore. I felt like the bottom had dropped out on my beliefs about financial abundance. It seemed like one day I was happily attracting and receiving money into my life and the next day I was worried, the energy around my money was tight, and my numbers were lower than they had been in months.
What the heck was going on? Upon reflection and with help from my own coach (yes, coaches uses coaches too), I recognized three issues had triggered this disconnect...
First, I had taken on a new project that will take 12-18 months to bear financial fruit, yet needs to be completed in the next six months. This project, while absolutely the right course of action for me, is also taking time that, quite frankly, I just don't have. I was caught in a mental quagmire: "Do I need to earn less money in order to write the project?" With that thinking, I had put myself smack dab in the middle of the infamous "trade off" trap, which dictates that, "to get something you want, you must give up something else that you want." No fun! Plus, thinking this way says I don't believe the universe is fully abundant, and that I'm not able to create money in all sorts of unexpected ways.
The second issue was an old belief that goes something like, "I must do everything myself, I must handle everything myself and the buck stops with me." As a business owner and single mother, there's some truth to this belief, and yet I had stepped into it far too fully. I had negated the fact that help is always available, we can't do everything ourselves (yes, sometimes I think I'm Superwoman) and the universe, when asked, is available to send ease and grace into our lives.
Third, I recognized that a relationship in my life was negatively affecting my self-confidence. I had allowed a relationship's dynamics to undermine my self-esteem. I was settling for less than what I wanted and deserved, which is always a bad idea. So I cleaned up my part of the relationship: I asked for what I wanted and emotionally disconnected my self-esteem from the result.
Don't get me wrong - it took several weeks of soul searching, discussions and coaching to ferret out these gems. But like most learning, they were worth the effort. What did I learn?
- When we feel disconnected from a previously held belief, start struggling in an area we don't usually struggle in, or notice a situation sliding sideways, pay attention. There's tweaking to be done.
- Notice what's changed in your life. New career situation? Change in a relationship? Shift in social, emotional or physical status? Any significant change in your life can cause your beliefs to shift, usually for the better once the dust settles.
- Hone in on what's making you feel bad... What's making you feel drained, tight or less enthusiastic? Those may be places to examine. Once you've soul searched, notice the beliefs you're carrying that seem to zap your energy. Beliefs that work for us make us feel great, empowered and positive. If you're feeling less than great, empowered or positive, it's time to pull out your magnifying glass for a closer look at what's not working for you.
So the next time you have a crisis of belief, look below the surface, ask yourself the tough questions and listen to the answers. Remember, when things stop working in your life, it's a sign that opportunity is right around the corner. Every crisis of faith brings with it tremendous opportunities for growth, renewal and change for the better. Ask yourself the age old questions: What do I need to see? And: What's here for me to learn?
Claudette Rowley, coach and author, helps professionals identify and pursue their true purpose and calling in life. Learn more at Claudette Rowley.com.
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