Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Give Yourself the Gift of Value

By Claudette Rowley

My 4-year-old son caught my attention the other day with a simple announcement: "I'm special and important." He uttered this statement with complete conviction. Curious, I asked, "Who did you talk to about that?" He said, "No one. I told myself that." Again, stated with complete conviction.

As his mother, I felt gratitude and pride that he feels special and important. As a student of human nature, I was fascinated. My sense has long been that many children do experience themselves as precious - at least as babies or toddlers. Then well-meaning socialization begins and we're told not to get "big heads" or grow "too big for our britches." The quest to make sure kids don't become arrogant can be misguided since, in reality, only insecure people project arrogance.

What do "secure" people project? Value. They are intrinsically and internally conscious of their value as human beings. They acknowledge the contributions they make while remaining aware of personal blindspots and shortcomings. Valuing who you are and what you do is a world apart from arrogance.

Earlier in my coaching career, I spoke with a colleague about feeling unappreciated for some of my work. She responded with a comment I've never forgotten: "When you start acknowledging yourself and your contributions, other people will begin acknowledging you as well." She was right. Acknowledgment is an inside-out proposition. When you acknowledge yourself internally, the external world responds favorably.

Too often, we fall prey to seeking approval from others. We hope that if we fill ourselves with enough external approval, we'll miraculously feel better about ourselves. We think that unless we're externally validated, we can't internally acknowledge ourselves.

Don't get me wrong - I love approval as much as anyone else. If approval happens to naturally come your way, soak it up! But you'll find your source of true power in the acts of approving, acknowledging and valuing yourself.

How do you value yourself? Sometimes when I discuss this concept with clients, the ones who have never acknowledged their value feel challenged emotionally to do so now. Consider the following acts of personal acknowledgment:

  • You know your boundaries and you hold them. If necessary, you enforce them. And you keep the delicate balance between boundaries that are too rigid or too flexible.
  • You routinely ask yourself, "What do I need? What do I want?" Then you act on the answers to those questions.
  • If you experience moments of doubt, you solicit outside feedback. You ask friends and colleague to tell you about your strengths.
  • You think well of yourself. If you (or your inner critic) make unkind statements, you disregard them. This is different than reflecting on what worked and didn't work in a given situation, finding out that you've hurt someone's feelings or deciding to do something differently in the future. People who value themselves are not perfect - they do make mistakes and harbor human blind-spots.

A few years ago, a business associate told me, "You're an ace, but you don't know it." I thought, "What if that's true? What if I am an ace and I don't know it? What's possible from that perspective?"

Take it from me: acknowledging your value is powerful, and fully feeling that power will skyrocket your capacity to change, to connect with what's meaningful and ignite some serious internal combusting of positive energy. Wow.

Also, unless you're as enlightened as the Dalai Lama or Eckhart Tolle you can't value yourself enough. Even if you feel joyful, powerful and positive, stretch your acknowledgment of yourself even further. The more you experience this, the greater your impact on others and the world. So value yourself - it's universally beneficial.

What if you're an ace and you don't know it? Just think what you can accomplish with that bit of wisdom driving you.

Copyright © 2006 Claudette Rowley
Claudette Rowley, coach and author, helps professionals identify and pursue their true purpose and calling in life. Learn more at Claudette Rowley.com.

Out of the box
More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

Good info on many topics:

Want to renew your life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development...
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Consultation...
 

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Hypnosis is the key to unlocking your creativity, focusing your energy and understanding yourself

Hypnosis has a long history of helping human beings be the very best they can be. It can be used to control anything controlled by the unconscious mind - pain, blood pressure, fear, confidence levels, mood, sex drive... the list goes on:

  1. You'll become highly productive without getting stressed
  2. Tap into your creative energies instantly
  3. Really understand yourself and others
  4. You'll learn how to stay calm in high pressure or uncomfortable situations
  5. Develop laser-like levels of focus and concentration

Lean more... Uncommon Hypnosis Course

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
And here's a fantastic resource for self-education...

The World of Inspiration eLibrary

World of Inspiration
A treasure trove of personal development wisdom

Step inside. Just like a real library, there are thousands of quality eBooks presented on three "floors" and in different "rooms." To purchase your $15 Lifetime Membership to the World of Inspiration eLibrary, click the following button:

Payment is made through our secure transaction agent, PayPal.
The transaction is in the language and currency of your choice.
"I want to just say 'WOW!' This collection is probably the best money I ever spent! I've already received many times over in personal enrichment after just 9 days. I've had a past metaphysical background, but even newcomers to this material will really benefit. Thanks again." ~ J.S. (Pennsylvania, USA)
"The collection is everything which you promised. And more! A superb contribution to the good of the world. Many thanks indeed." ~ R.P. (Georgia, USA)
"Just a short note of thanks for the library. I've only had membership for several days now but I already feel this is perhaps the most interesting compilation I have yet seen. Worth far more than the price of admission. The browser linked structure works well and makes it easy to manage such a large storehouse of information. It is rarely that I find something I like as much as this or that I feel strongly enough to write a note like this." ~ P.W. (Minnesota, USA)
Copyright © 1997-2017 Trans4mind Ltd