Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Outgrow Your Fears and Be Free

By Guy Finley

We're often led to act against ourselves by an undetected weakness that goes before us -- trying to pass itself off to others -- as a strength. In effect, we pretend to be something we're not -- a commonly accepted behavior these days. But any time we feign anything, we do so out of fear that without that "persona" to protect us -- to make that impression we want -- we won't get what we want.

This whole way of thinking is secret self-sabotage. It sinks us in our personal and business relationships as surely as a torpedo wrecks the ship it strikes. Learning how to stop this self-sinking is our focus here. As always, the best way to begin any journey of self-discovery is to gather the light we'll need to succeed. Your consideration of the two special insights that follow will start you down the path to a whole new kind of self-command.

  1. Any person you feel the need to control or dominate -- so that he or she will treat you as you "think" you should be treated -- will always be in charge of you... and treat you accordingly. Why? Because anyone from whom you want something, psychologically speaking, is always in secret command of you.

  2. Any action we take to appear strong before another person is actually read by that person as a weakness. If you doubt this finding, review the past interactions and results of your own relationships. The general rule of thumb is that the more you demand or crave the respect of others, the less likely you are to receive it. If you've ever tried to raise children, you know this is true. So it makes no sense to try and change the way others treat you by learning calculated behaviors or attitude techniques in order to appear in charge. The only thing these clever cover-ups really produce is yet another source of secret inner conflict, which, in turn, only fuels further self-sabotage. Besides, what you're really looking for in your relationships isn't command over others -- but over yourself. So what's the answer?
Stop trying to be strong. Instead, catch yourself about to act from weakness.

Don't be too surprised by this unusual instruction. A brief examination reveals its wisdom. Following are ten examples of where you may be secretly sabotaging yourself while wrongly assuming you're strengthening your position with others.

  1. Fawning before people to win their favor.
  2. Expressing contrived concern for someone's well-being.
  3. Making small talk to cover up nervousness.
  4. Hanging onto someone's every word.
  5. Looking for someone's approval.
  6. Asking if someone is angry with you.
  7. Fishing for a kind word.
  8. Trying to impress someone.
  9. Gossiping.
  10. Explaining yourself to others.
Your awareness of any one of these self-compromising actions within you is the proof that it's some form of fear -- and not you -- that wants to do the explaining, fawning, impressing, blabbing, or whatever that self-sabotaging inner pressure is pushing you to commit. Each time you feel this pressurized urge to give yourself away, silently but solidly refuse to release this pressure by giving into its demands.

It may help you to succeed sooner if you know that fear has no voice unless it tricks you into giving it one. Choosing inner seeing over the wish to be seen by others in a complimentary light stops the cycle of self-sabotage. Who you really are doesn't need protection from any event in life -- regardless of how challenging -- any more than a mountain needs a raincoat to get through a summer storm!

Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over! For the daring person who wishes to turn this possibility into reality, the keys to less stress and brighter days are found in Guy Finley's newly revised and expanded best-selling book, "The Secret of Letting Go." Just as gentle spring rains stir the seeds that become beautiful wildflowers, so will the higher lessons in this book help you let go and grow free. Learn more about this life-changing book and request your free Unstoppable Starter Kit.

Out of the box
More personal development articles at the Counterpoint Article Library

Good info on many topics:

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Hypnosis is the key to unlocking your creativity, focusing your energy and understanding yourself

Hypnosis has a long history of helping human beings be the very best they can be. It can be used to control anything controlled by the unconscious mind - pain, blood pressure, fear, confidence levels, mood, sex drive... the list goes on:

  1. You'll become highly productive without getting stressed
  2. Tap into your creative energies instantly
  3. Really understand yourself and others
  4. You'll learn how to stay calm in high pressure or uncomfortable situations
  5. Develop laser-like levels of focus and concentration

Lean more... Uncommon Hypnosis Course

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
Copyright © 1997-2017 Trans4mind Ltd