Anger Management Practice: The Gift of Forgiveness

By Charlie Badenhop
(click for more articles)

This anger management Practice draws on the dual wisdom of Aikido and scientific research, "The gift of forgiveness" will help you explore how to change long term anger into a wider range of life affirming emotions. It is a simple yet profound Practice following the Seishindo principles of Absorption, Utilization, and Balance.

- Absorb your upset feelings as you inhale, and feel what is there for you.
- Utilize your upsetness to help generate forgiveness.
- Remain emotionally balanced as you feel a wider range of your emotions.

This Practice will lead you to go beyond feeling angry or resentful and limiting what you are capable of feeling and appreciating. This Practice invites you to use the built up energy of anger or resentment, as the catalyst for generating forgiveness. The more you are able to feel anger or resentment while not fully giving into it and losing yourself, the more you will be able to enter onto a path of forgiveness.

Begin
As always, the key here is to take your time, speak slowly, breathe deeply, and pause between sentences. Keep each sentence short and concise. This is important. Long sentences lead to sloppy thinking and getting lost. You are to speak each sentence out loud if you are in a space that allows for this. It can often be helpful to repeat this process for several rounds in one sitting, letting your words change as you go along.

You might want to read through this Practice at least once, before actually beginning.

Choices:
In general, you can:
Choose between using and working with the concept of "anger" or "resentment" for each statement that you read below.
Or, alternate between using "anger" for one statement, and "resentment" for the next statement.
Or, use both terms at the same time, "My anger and resentment ... ..."
It is totally up to you.

If your sense of anger or resentment is strong, you might likely have to do this Practice a number of times before you are able to fully agree with what you are saying. This is often an important part of the process. If necessary, please do give yourself the opportunity to speak the words while still feeling a bit out of alignment with what you are saying. This is part of opening up to the gift of forgiveness.

“Today, I am feeling into my relationship with ... ... . “(Name a person or situation that is troublesome)
Pause, Breathe. Deeply, and Feel the Movement in your body as you sit quietly

“Today, I am feeling into my anger (resentment) in this regard. “
Pause, Breathe. Deeply, and Feel the Movement in your body as you sit quietly.

“Today, in feeling my anger(resentment), I realize that I am missing out on the opportunity to experience the blessing of serenity.
Pause, Breathe. Deeply, and Look around at your surroundings as you sit quietly

Today, I realize that beyond my anger(resentment), I would also like to feel a sense of deep inner calm. “
Pause, Breathe. Deeply, and Listen to your surroundings as you sit quietly

“Today, I realize that I can help improve my overall emotional response to life, by giving myself the gift of forgiveness.”
Pause, Breathe. Deeply, and Feel the Movement in your body as you sit quietly

“Today, I realize that I would like to exchange my anger(resentment) for a sense of peace and calm. “
Pause, Breathe. Deeply, and Look around at your surroundings as you sit quietly

“Today, I realize that feeling a sense of forgiveness, leads to feeling calm, and at peace with myself.
Pause, Breathe. Deeply, and Listen to your surroundings as you sit quietly

Today, I realize that I can breathe in anger(resentment), and breathe out forgiveness and compassion.”
Pause, Breathe. Deeply In AND Out, and Feel the Movement in your body as you sit quietly

“Today, I know that I can face my anger(resentment) again tomorrow, with a sense of serenity.”
Pause, Breathe. Deeply, and Feel the Movement in your body as you sit quietly

“Today, I can rest in the grace of the world and be free. “
Pause, Breathe. Deeply, and Feel the Movement in your body as you sit quietly

* * *
I hope this Practice will help you to fulfill the longing of your spirit. That you achieve peaceful victory over your anger as you travel ever closer to living the life your heart longs for.